Solitary Toss of Tenderness

No one can truly accompany anyone forever

Mama Lu finally came out of the emergency room without any major incidents. However, this time, the doctor’s head shook involuntarily. As Lu Zizheng urgently grasped his hand and anxiously inquired about her condition, he let out a heavy sigh, unsure of how to gently break the cruel truth to her. He weakly said, “We did our best…”

Lu Zizheng tightly clenched the doctor’s sleeve in her hand, and her face fell lifelessly.

In the middle of the night, when Mama Lu woke up, Lu Zizheng was sitting by her bedside, staring at her with swollen red eyes, blinking without cease.

Seeing her mother wake up, Lu Zizheng quickly poured a glass of water and handed it to her, assisting her in sitting up and drinking.

Mama Lu took a sip of water, and her dry and sore throat felt slightly relieved. Her voice was hoarse and weak as she mustered a faint smile and teasingly said to Lu Zizheng, “You’ve been watching me all this time. Can you see a flower blooming on my face?”

Lu Zizheng blinked and replied with a bitter smile, “I’m afraid that if I close my eyes and open them again, you’ll be gone…”

The smile on Mama Lu’s face gradually froze, and after a long while, she let out a low sigh and said, “Silly child…”

Lu Zizheng suddenly leaned down and rested on Mama Lu’s body, like a child, crying with a sense of powerlessness and despair. Her shoulders shook uncontrollably as she sobbed and pleaded, “Mom, please, don’t go, don’t leave me, okay…”

Mama Lu’s tears also streamed down as she weakly lifted her hand and gently patted Lu Zizheng’s shoulder, silently comforting her. This time, she dared not promise Lu Zizheng, “Don’t be afraid, Mom is here.”

Lu Zizheng’s crying gradually subsided, while Mama Lu continued to pat her back, remaining silent for a long time. Eventually, she discussed with Lu Zizheng, “Zheng Zheng, how about being discharged tomorrow? Mom wants to return to Juzhou, wants to see Dad, wants to be with Uncle and the others.”

Lu Zizheng lifted her heavy head, tears streaming down her face as her head shook like a wave. She knew what leaving the hospital meant.

However, Mama Lu’s eyes were filled with earnestness as she pleaded with Lu Zizheng, “Zheng Zheng, be a good girl and let Mom go home, okay…”

Lu Zizheng covered her face with both hands, sobbing for a long time before choking out intermittently, “Mom, okay, let’s go home.”

Mama Lu reached out her hand, weakly wiping away the continuously flowing tears from Lu Zizheng’s face, softly murmuring, “Good child, Mom’s good child…”

The next morning, Jiang Huaixi helped Mama Lu with the discharge procedures at Lu Zizheng’s request. Ignoring Lu Zizheng’s gentle refusal, Jiang Huaixi drove to pick up Mama Lu from the hospital. Together, Lu Zizheng, Mama Lu, and Jiang Huaixi returned to Juzhou.

Lu Zizheng’s uncle and his family also rushed to Lu Zizheng’s house upon hearing the news. Lu Zizheng’s uncle, a big man, shed tears instantly upon seeing Mama Lu lying on the bed, unable to get up.

Mama Lu asked Lu Zizheng to help her sit up and then mustered a smile, jokingly saying, “Brother, real men shed tears without restraint. You must have been blinded by the wind, right?”

Lu Zizheng’s uncle wiped away his tears, his eyes red, and sat silently by Mama Lu’s bedside, his face flushed from holding back his tears.

Mama Lu turned her head, took Jiang Huaixi’s hand, and introduced him to Lu Zizheng’s uncle, saying, “Brother, this is the daughter I recognized, her name is Jiang Huaixi, she’s a very good child.”

Lu Zizheng’s uncle looked at Jiang Huaixi with a hint of confusion, then followed Mama Lu’s gaze and saw Lu Zizheng, whose eyes were fixed on Jiang Huaixi. In an instant, he understood. He cleared his throat, his voice low, firm, and directed at Mama Lu, “Don’t worry, I will take care of them.”

Mama Lu nodded and smiled with relief.

On the third day after returning to Juzhou, the day was gloomy from the morning, and in the afternoon, a drizzle started to fall. Mama Lu looked at the misty rain outside the window and, in a daze, as if she saw Lu Zizheng’s father walking towards her, his smile as bright as when they first met. He held a dark umbrella and said with a beaming smile, “Ah Yu, I’ve come to pick you up. I’m sorry for keeping you waiting for so long…”

She turned her head and looked at Lu Zizheng and Jiang Huaixi sitting close by the bed. A smile gradually formed on her face as she reached out her hand and held the large hand extended by Lu Zizheng’s father…

The moment Mama Lu left, Lu Zizheng cried silently, clinging tightly to her, unwilling to let go. It was not until her emotions overwhelmed her and her strength waned that she fainted. When she woke up again, Lu Zizheng, strangely, stopped crying and causing trouble. Instead, she diligently assisted her uncle and Jiang Huaixi in handling the arrangements for Mama Lu’s affairs.

Only Jiang Huaixi, who lived in Lu Zizheng’s house, knew that beneath her calm exterior, her heart was already filled with countless wounds. During the day, Lu Zizheng seemed like a puppet, expressionless. But at night, Jiang Huaixi could hear faint cries coming from Lu Zizheng’s bedroom every night.

The day after sending Mama Lu off, Lu Zizheng sat alone in the empty living room, staring blankly at the framed photos of Mama Lu and her father hanging on the wall.

Jiang Huaixi cooked a meal and came out of the kitchen, holding an apple in her hand. She sat down beside Lu Zizheng and slowly started peeling the skin.

Lu Zizheng turned her face to look at Jiang Huaixi. Over the past two to three weeks, Jiang Huaixi had also lost weight, causing bitterness and heartache in Lu Zizheng’s heart. She shook her head and softly said, “Huaixi, I’m fine now. You should go back to Linzhou. Thank you for your help and care during this time. Once I have finished dealing with everything, I will properly thank you.”

Jiang Huaixi paused in her actions, shook her head, and said in a deep voice, “I’m not leaving.”

Lu Zizheng asked her calmly, “Are you planning to stay here and accompany me?”

Jiang Huaixi remained silent, not answering her.

However, Lu Zizheng let out a bitter smile and questioned her, “Huaixi, how long can you accompany me? Is it one day, two days, or a week, two weeks?” Her gaze locked onto Jiang Huaixi, her eyes filled with a hope she hadn’t even noticed herself.

Jiang Huaixi gazed at Lu Zizheng, seeing the shining anticipation in her eyes. She opened her mouth as if to speak but hesitated. In the end, she simply handed the peeled apple to Lu Zizheng, staying silent.

She saw the gradually dimming hope in Lu Zizheng’s eyes and heard her murmuring self-answer, “Right, no one can truly, forever accompany someone…”

Lu Zizheng took the apple from Jiang Huaixi’s hand, took a gentle bite, and kept her eyes fixed on the photos of her parents on the wall, lost in thought. Then she suddenly spoke, “Huaixi, I’m feeling a bit hungry…”

Jiang Huaixi was filled with joy in an instant. Over these past few days, Lu Zizheng had barely been able to consume anything more than a little rice soup. Jiang Huaixi didn’t know how Lu Zizheng managed to hold on. She immediately stood up and said, “I cooked the preserved egg and lean pork congee that you like in the kitchen. Let me go check if it’s ready.”

However, Lu Zizheng shook her head, feeling dejected, and said, “I want to taste my mom’s cooking…”

Jiang Huaixi’s heart skipped a beat, her nose tingling with a touch of sadness.

Lu Zizheng looked up at her, her eyes sparkling, and said, “There’s an authentic preserved egg congee at Chenghuang Street. I’ve had it once, and it tastes just like my mom’s. Can you go buy a bowl for me?”

Jiang Huaixi couldn’t bear to hesitate for a moment. She didn’t even have time to put on her coat before turning around and saying, “Okay, wait for me. I’ll be back right away.”

Lu Zizheng’s eyes remained tightly locked onto Jiang Huaixi’s hurried figure, filled with infinite longing and sorrow.

Huaixi, I’m sorry, I love you.

She was afraid of becoming an orphan in this world, with no one to rely on. She longed for her father’s broad shoulders and her mother’s warm embrace.

In this world, her only attachment and longing were for Jiang Huaixi. But someday, Huaixi would also leave.

Is it that only in stillness can something be eternal? If time were to freeze in this moment, would Jiang Huaixi’s departing figure never appear, forever embodying that gentle presence?

Lu Zizheng seriously contemplated, and it was probably like this.

A smile gradually appeared at the corner of her lips…

Chenghuang Street was more than ten blocks away from Lu Zizheng’s house, and Jiang Huaixi drove out. Once she left, she felt a subtle unease in her heart, a feeling that had been tormenting her. She kept replaying the expression on Lu Zizheng’s face as she watched her leave, going through it over and over again. The sense of unease grew stronger and she became increasingly anxious.

She quickly turned the car around and dialed Xu Baihan’s phone number while driving. Xu Baihan had left her number when she attended Mama Lu’s funeral, telling her to call if she needed anything. As soon as the call connected, Jiang Huaixi blurted out, “Xu Jie, can you immediately arrange for an ambulance from the hospital to come to Zizheng’s house? I’m worried she might do something foolish, and I’m rushing back right now.”

Xu Baihan was startled, but without a second thought, she agreed to the request.

Unfortunately, the traffic was unexpectedly congested on the way back. Jiang Huaixi didn’t have time to think much; she got out of the car, slammed the door shut, and hurriedly started running towards Lu Zizheng’s house.

In her entire life, Jiang Huaixi had only run twice. The first time was when Lu Zizheng fainted during a physical education class, and the second time was now. She felt her heart pounding rapidly, as if it was going to burst out of her chest, but she didn’t dare to stop for a moment.

Jiang Huaixi practically kicked open Lu Zizheng’s front door and, without even closing it, rushed into the living room. In that moment, unprecedented panic and fear overwhelmed her heart.

She saw Lu Zizheng trembling as she struggled to stand up from the balcony’s parapet…

Jiang Huaixi almost shouted Lu Zizheng’s name in alarm, “Zizheng, come down…”

Lu Zizheng heard the sound, turned her head, and gave Jiang Huaixi a faint smile. Her lips, pale and colorless, moved silently, opening and closing…

Jiang Huaixi vaguely made out the words, “I love you, I’m sorry”…

She panicked and became frantic but dared not rush over. Suddenly, the corner of her eye caught sight of the fruit knife used to slice the apple in the living room. Without thinking, she grabbed it and pressed it against her left wrist. Coldly, she said to Lu Zizheng, “Zizheng, if you insist on leaving, then I’ll accompany you.”

She saw a momentary pause in the smile on Lu Zizheng’s face, and then, against all expectations, she started turning away. In that instant, Jiang Huaixi had no more hesitation. With a strong force, she forcefully slashed her own wrist, and fresh blood instantly sprayed in front of Lu Zizheng’s eyes…

Lu Zizheng’s breath seemed to stop in an instant, and the next moment, as if gone mad, she leaped and tumbled down from the balcony, rushing to Jiang Huaixi’s side, frantically trying to cover the bleeding wound on her wrist. But the blood continued to flow through the gaps between her tightly pressed fingers. Lu Zizheng cried out in distress to Jiang Huaixi, “What do we do, Huaixi? Are you crazy? How could you do something so foolish…”

Jiang Huaixi weakly lifted her blood-stained hand and gently caressed Lu Zizheng’s cheek, tenderly comforting her, “Zizheng, don’t do something foolish…”

She said, “Zizheng, I’ve been crazy for a long time…” From the moment she saw Lu Zizheng on the stage, from the moment she fell in love with her, she knew she was crazy…

When Xu Baihan arrived at Lu Zizheng’s house with the ambulance, the scene before her eyes was horrifying, causing her to go weak in the knees.

Jiang Huaixi lay in a pool of blood, lifeless, while Lu Zizheng used her hand to apply pressure on Jiang Huaixi’s arm, which was tightly bound with a cloth strip. Lu Zizheng’s entire body and face were covered in bright red blood. Seeing the doctor in the white coat enter, Lu Zizheng knelt on the ground as if she had lost her soul, clutching their coat and pleading desperately, “Please, you must save her, you must save her…” Muttering to herself, Lu Zizheng also collapsed…

Jiang Wang, concerned about Jiang Huaixi’s well-being and entrusted by Mother Jiang, had just finished work and called Jiang Huaixi to inquire if she had recovered from her cold and when she would be able to come back.

The phone rang for a long time without anyone picking up. Just as Jiang Wang was about to hang up and redial, the phone suddenly got answered.

On the other end of the line, a warm and pleasant voice, slightly flustered and apologetic, said, “Hello, I’m Xu Baihan. Huaixi had an accident in Juzhou and is currently receiving emergency treatment at the hospital. Are you her family?”

After that, Xu Baihan said something, but Jiang Wang couldn’t hear it… She held the phone, leaning against the wall, and after a moment, she hung up the call.

Xu Baihan…

She thought she had truly forgotten…

It turns out that self-deceptive dream would eventually have its awakening day…