Too Broke For Afterlife

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"Seriously? That's the race you chose after empathizing that we have to lay low?

With his more than 7 feet, Walter, now Walark the firbolg, looks shyly at the ground. The half-giant's pointy ears and broad build don't help either.

"Think of it this way," he mumbles. "They would expect us to choose something less noticeable. They would never investigate a giant."

He is right, but still, wouldn't it be smarter to blend in?

"Are you guys finally rea- oh my god."

Aehorn facepalms himself when he sees us.

"Great. Now we look like a circus. Why didn't you at least choose some powerful races? A satyr? Seriously?"

I cross my arms. "What's your problem?"

The hybrid rolls his eyes. "Look in the mirror. Waist down, you're a goat on two legs. All you can do is ram someone with your horns. We need powerful fighters."

Goldres interjects with his calming voice. "Aero, let them be. All races are welcome. At least they are no longer humans."

With a wave of his hand we continue our journey through the forest. 

Fatima let's herself fall behind, she smiles at Walter. I mean, Walark.

"Now I'm not the tallest anymore, thank you."

"You're welcome."

I roll my eyes, what a simp.

The Jittering Forest is protecting us from the harsh rain as we move further up the mountain. 

What did that king do to deserve being locked up here? 

Or maybe it's the king of a race that loves hanging around mountain tops though I don't know which one that could possibly be. 

I do feel extremely weird walking around as a bare-chested goat man. I look like a bad imitation of Goldres. 

At first I thought the whole centaur thing was super strange, afterall you are a human with horse legs. But now comparing myself to him, our group's leader is enviable. Why didn't I choose a centaur?

Honestly, when I was in the menu, I didn't even check. I just picked the first race I saw and quickly selected 'Parkos' as a name. I didn't want to make certain companions even angrier. And now see where that social thought brought me. I'm a clown.

Walter on the other hand took his sweet time. He didn't care about driving anyone mad. He looked at the stats, abilities, pros and cons, until he settled for a half-giant. Now he not only looks the scariest, he also gets the hot chicks.

I watch how he and Fatima are walking next to each other, talking. Cordon the halfling is sitting on his shoulders, enjoying being carried.

Who said selfishness doesn't get you anywhere? F*ck being nice.

Annoyed and unable to watch my friend's success any longer (hey, I never claimed to be a good person), I quickly catch up with Goldres and Aehorn to eavesdrop on their conversation.

"What did the riddle say again?"

The silver-haired simic hybrid pulls out a piece of parchment he used to write the words down.

I try my best to peek over his tall shoulders only see that he wrote in a language I can't read. What kind of runes are these now? 

"Up the mountain, down the stonern path, a prisoner locked inside a cave. The king holds the key to the dragon's door but he cries, cries, cries."

"What king would be crying?"Goldres wonders and he strokes his beard.

"I don't know but I bet he won't hand over the key as long as he's whining. What do you think?"

Aehorn turns to me with lifted eyebrows. 

"What do I think?" 

"Yes. You do think sometimes, right?" 

I throw him a death glare before I answer. 

"The fact he is crying must play a role so I agree in the assumption that we have to help him in order to get the key." 

Aehorn snorts. "You're good at rehashing other people's words, huh?" 

"Aero," the centaur grunts. Then he turns around to the other. 

"Hey Cordon! How long until we arrive?" 

"Almost there," the halfling shouts. 

Goldres and Aehorn continue discussing but I pull out of the conversation. Instead, I enjoy the nature. 

Yes, I like nature. 

I mean, who doesn't? 

Our trail runs very close to the edge of the mountain and from time to time I can peek through the trees and look at the valley down below. 

There seems to be a village but from what I can tell, the houses are merely ruins. Nobody lives there. 

The grass and moss beneath our feet pull back and make room for silver stone. 

The forest retreats and after only a few minutes we are completely surrounded by rock. 

Cordon, Walter and Fatima have caught up to us and the halfling jumps down from the giant's shoulders to take the lead. 

His voice is quiet. 

"These caves are used to keep prisoners. It's a very unfavorable place to stay. The wind is hard, it's very lonely and freezingly cold. The only thing you're safe from is the rain."

I can imagine. I wonder if this world has wolves and vultures that will try to get a hold of the prisoners. 

Cordon continues. "If death penalty was legal in Troll Flower, these caves wouldn't exist. It's torture. Only the worst kind of criminals are being kept here and once you get locked into one of the cells, chances are you'll never make it out again."

"What kind of king would deserve to be held here?" Fatima asks him. 

"I don't know, he must have done something horrible. Maybe betrayal."

"That's imaginable," Walter comments. "Back on Earth, centuries ago, it wasn't rare for kings to be hung for a variety of reasons. Or maybe it's not the king who betrayed but the other way around."

Damn. Even in Heaven you can't escape politics. 

What if we are about to fight Mary, Queen of Scots?

"Okay, the caves start behind that corner. We should decide who goes and who stays here. Gold?"

The centaur nods thoughtfully and scans our faces.

"Definitely you, Cordon. You know your way around here. Two others should accompany you, two trustworthy faces. I would suggest Fatima and…"

I try to make myself as small as possible to avoid being picked. I wasn't made to negotiate, especially not with depressed royalty. I'd much rather have a moment to myself and think about Judy and the Mayor.

"Parkos."

F*ck.

"Why me?" I ask and I put as much I-don't-give-a-shit-about-this-stupid-king into my voice as possible.

"Satyr are usually peaceful and we should offer a variety of races as we don't know what king we are about to face. Plus, this is going to be a good opportunity for you to prove yourself."

"Prove myself?"

Goldres nods. "So far I have been protecting you and Walark but it's time you show you're worthy of being part of this guild."

Aehorn grins devilishly. He's probably already imagining how his friend kicks me out because I screw up.

And that motivates me more than anything, I won't give him that satisfaction.

"Fair enough. I will accompany you two."

I nonchalantly walk over to Fatima and Cordon. The woman smiles at me warmly.

"Good luck." The centaur nods at us as we turn to leave.

I look at Walter, he nods as well to signal me that he'll keep his eyes open. 

Behind the next corner lies more stone and there are no trees left to protect us from tripping and falling into our death. Somebody has carved stairs into the mountain on our right. 

"These prisoners only ever see one guard who brings them food once a day. We are strangers, we have to be careful."

Fatima turns to Cordon. "How many caves are there?"

"Around 30? 40? Searching all of them would be way too dangerous. I have a feeling we should look at the top. The coldest, loneliest cell of all."

And with those words we start climbing up the stairs. Nervously, I grab whatever I can to make sure I won't slip and fall. 

Every twenty or so steps a broader pathway channels off and leads to one level of caves. I don't dare to look up and count the levels, too scared I might lose my balance.

Despite us trying to be as quiet as possible, some prisoners seem to have heard us and screams echo through the mountains.

They are yelling, calling for help. Some are hitting objects against the metal bars. More and more join, it's a wave that makes the ground beneath my feet vibrate. If there was snow, this  bomb of noise would surely cause an avalanche. 

"We're almost there," Cordon informs us.

It takes minutes until the prisoner stop, realizing that we didn't come to help. I wonder what they look like.

Am I only a few feet away from horrifying monsters or are they like me? But then again, aren't I a monster as well?

On Earth, walking around as a human goat hybrid would definitely cause some heart attacks. But here in Troll Flower I'm on the tame end of the scale. 

I take a deep breath to calm my mind down. 

Slowly, I raise my head to look up into the sky. Peace looks back at me.

The clouds have drawn back, the moon is shining in its full beauty.

And somewhere, the sun is rising.