Too Broke For Afterlife

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Camera lights are flashing through the night and blind anyone who gets lost in front of the polished lenses of eager paparazzis. 

"I'm not gonna do this," I mumble and hold tighter onto Isabella's arm. "Nope."

"Judy, this is your moment." She looks at me surprised but I shake my head.

"I'm too scared."

"But you've been talking about nothing else for a good few weeks. Nothing will happen, I promise."

I watch the people walking down the red carpet. They look confident. Sure of themselves. They are professionals. I'm just a kid.

"Everyone is here because of you."

"So? I didn't ask for this," I hiss and push myself away. 

"I didn't think my album would become this pop-"

"Judy!"

Suddenly, people start screaming my name and I look around.

But nobody is looking at me. 

Their eyes are glued to someone standing in the middle of the red carpet.

A girl that looks…exactly like me. Just that her hair is brown. While posing, she looks over to me and winks.

What? Did I duplicate?

And then I remember.

Oh god dammit, this is just a dream. I'm not actually a popstar. 

Isa doesn't seem to notice my twin and still tries to push me forward.

"Come on, they are waiting for you."

"I don't think so."

I'm seeing the other Judy, does this mean that this is a DREAMS session? I don't remember starting one, did she? Can I change the dream?

I look at Isabella. Can I wish her away?

I concentrate on the thought but she is not disappearing. Dammit. MAybe something small? Change her necklace? 

"Are you staring at my boobs?" She laughs. 

"No, I'm just-"

"Hello!"

Suddenly, brunette Judy is standing next to us. She smiles at me innocently but I know that it's not meant to be sweet.

"What are you doing here?" I mumble. "This is my dream."

"It's not, dude. Look." She turns to Isabella and the next moment, she is gone. 

"You're here because I wished you here."

"Oh no, not this again." I roll my eyes. What is she thinking?

"You're so wrong."

"Oh, am I?"

Judy grabs my arm and pulls me away from the crowd.

The paparazzi are shouting after us but none seem to wonder about the fact that there's two pop stars now. Luckily, nobody follows.

"Okay, listen up."

We stop behind the next corner of the building and stare at each other. 

"I'll say it again. You are here because I made a mistake in one of my dreams. And now I have to fix it."

Stubborn as I am, I look away. 

"Judy."

"What?"

She sighs. "There can't be two of us. Okay? 

"Why?"

"Because…" Frustrated, she throws her hands in the air. "Because you're not real! You're fake!"

"I feel very real."

"And that's the problem. But like I said, I'll fix it."

Her voice got quieter at the end and I look at her unsure. "How?"

"Look, this is tough because you are me but I have to undo what I did."

She grabs my shoulders and looks into my eyes.

I wait for a second. "So? What are you…wait."

She is going to delete my existence.

"Judy, stop." I try to free myself but can already feel how my body starts rebelling as it loses weight.

She stares at my disappearing arms. "Judy," I beg but no reaction.

My vision darkens like I'm about to pass out.

"Sorry, dude." That's the last thing I hear before I am no more.

<<<

I wake up to the sound of a car flying by. The windows are down and loud music is booming out of the radio. I must have been close to waking up anyway. I ended the session right after I was done. 

Did it work? I'll have to wait and find out. 

Killing my twin almost literally wasn't easy but I had to remind myself that she isn't actually real. I'm real and I'm the only one. I am Judy Hill.

I look around the room, the neon lights of the city make it possible for me to see.

Clemens is lying on his mattress, sleeping and snoring. The sounds are so pesky, why did they make this a feature?

Nox's mattress is empty. She had returned before we went to bed. I asked her what she was doing but didn't get any answer. Not even a 'none of your business'.

This woman has so many secrets. This is the second time she just left and came back without an explanation. 

Clemens is alright but also very boring. We don't have anything in common. I don't like seals or politics. And he isn't into music, only listens to Death Metal. Having to spend a whole day with him was hell. At one point he had suggested we should play a game. Whoever could name more coral types wins.

"I don't know much about corals," he said when I pointed out that this game is quite unfair. 

In the end he scored 22 to 0.

I look outside the window. With all the light from the city I can hardly see the night sky.

We tried exploring a bit yesterday but completely overwhelmed with this unknown game, we quickly pulled out again. I almost got recruited by an organ trader when I was trying to buy food.

"Boo."

I swirl around and look for the person behind the voice.

Nox is sitting in a corner, growing at me. Oh my god, I hadn't noticed her!

"Remember when I said that I can see in the dark?"

"Yeah, cool. I can't. So don't scare me like that!"

"Oh, I scared you? Guess what I find scary."

Nox gets up from the ground and dusts off her pants. 

"What?"

"Oh, that's not fun. You have to guess!"

She walks over to me and I look into her pouting face. What could this person possibly find scary? We always joke that Nox doesn't have a soul and that for good reason.

"You are scared of spiders."

Nox snorts and stops right in front of me.

"No, idiot. I find it scary that you completely ignore my advice and keep paying for that DREAMS bullshit."

"Ssh!" I hold a hand in front of her mouth and look over to Clemens. He is still snoring, good.

I turn back to Nox. "This is none of your business," I hiss. "I make my own decisions. So get off my case."

"It is my business because you are endangering our mission. You don't knwo what consequences your sex dreams have."

Blood shoots into my face. "They are not sex dreams."

"Really? That'S the detail you're focusing on?"

Nox pushes me so that I fall against the empty window frame. 

"Do you want to know who runs DREAMS? It's the Mayor. This is yet another way to get KP."

"What?"

I did not see that coming. I've been paying KP to our enemy? 

"It's the same concept as the rest of Heaven. Micro payments."

"Micro payments?"

"Yes. Do you know those phone apps where you have to pay a dollar for a mega booster pack in order to succeed in the game? You think 'One dollar, that's not a lot but then you keep purchasing it until you've spent way too much money on crap entertainment that somehow got you addicted."

I stare at her cluelessly. "I don't get it."

Nox rolls her eyes. "Basically, the Mayor makes everyone pay for small things like themed clothes, access to special worlds or in your case DREAMS. All of this is designed to be a game that is not fun if you don't pay. And then people get addicted and stay instead of going to Hell."

"Only so she can gain power? That's awful."

"Exactly. So please, please, please. Don't pay for DREAMS anymore. I actually have a better idea what you can do." 

"And what is that?"

Nox looks into my eyes but all I can see in hers is black. 

"Talk to your ex, tell her what you've been doing and then be honest about your feelings."

I let the words sink in. Then I shake my head.

"Yeah, not gonna happen. When Isa finds out about this, she'll think I'm a creep."

"You are."

"But she doesn't have to know. I'll stop with DREAMS, promise. But this has to stay our secret. Okay?"

Nox hesitates. "I don't do secrecy."

"Please, for me. Be nice for once."

I look at her pleadingly and finally, Nox agrees. "Fine. I won't tell her. But not to do you a favor. If you guys fight over this, it might affect the mission and I can't let that happen."

I sigh. "Fair enough. So, what's the next step?"

"You'll be happy to hear this."

Nox steps away a bit to look out of the window. A slight breeze swishes through the red hair.

"We are close to the end."