Too Broke For Afterlife

Exactly." Jinkx sighs. Alex can see the wheels in their head turning. Great. Once again she is a burden. "I'm so sorry. You were so nice to let me sleep here and now I'm taking up your time with my problems even though we barely know each other. I don't know what's wrong with me. I should get ready now and figure out what to do." Alex gets up from the couch. She can see that Jinkx wants to say something but they swallow it. Their eyes fixate the sunflower in the mosaic pot. "Yeah."

After taking a hot shower and letting her tears run dry, Alex puts on a jeans and a plain dark grey shirt she had packed before brushing her hair. It is almost hitting her shoulders again. She really needs a haircut soon. Alex looks in the mirror and tries to put on a smile but the corners of her mouth immediately bounce back down. After a few motivational thoughts she decides to head back to the living room. Jinkx is now fully dressed, completely in black. Their hair is still a mess. It's a stark contrast to the glamorous, colorful and bubbly woman Alex had met yesterday. When Jinkx sees her, they flash her a small smile. "I hope you're fine with cereal. I feel like I'm still half asleep. I'd probably burn the kitchen down if I tried to cook anything right now." Alex finds her way to the small purple oak wood table that is placed between the seating area and the open kitchen. Jinkx falls down onto one of the chairs and wraps their hands around a giant mug of freshly brewed coffee. Alex sits down as well and looks at the empty cereal bowl. Instead of the plain white ones Alex is used to seeing everyday in her school's cafeteria, this one has a whole scenery painted onto it. A farm with animals and a sunflower field. Jinkx clears their throat. "Sorry that's the only one I got. I don't even remember who gave that to me." They chuckle and takes a sip of their coffee. "I guess you told the truth yesterday when you said you're into cock." Jinkx lets out a loud but short laugh and Alex grabs the cereal box. But the lightheartedness of the moment quickly fades. "So...what is your plan now?" Jinkx glances at her curiously. "I don't really have one. I could book a hotel room for a few nights and try to figure shit out. Maybe then I'll be ready to see my parents." Jinkx looks at her, lost in thoughts. Alex starts eating the cereal. Her stomach gratefully accepts the food. The last thing she had eaten was that awful sandwich for lunch yesterday. Gross. "Okay look." Jinkx sighs, their eyes wander around the room, unable to focus on something. They scratch their neck. "I'll be staying in Seattle for a few more days so you could sleep here if you wanted to." Alex widens her eyes. Did they really just say that? "I...I don't know. You really don't have to do that. I have already been enough of a burden. I can just rent a room, I'll be fine." "Do you have the money for that?" "Not right now but-" "Hold up." Jinkx sighs again and rubs their face before flashing Alex a small smile. "Please know that I'm not offering this because I feel like I have to. I want to help you and giving you a couch to sleep on and some food really isn't that big of a deal for me." Jinkx smiles and takes another sip of the coffee. "Of course you don't have to say yes if you don't feel comfortable here." "No, it's not that. This place is awesome." Alex looks around. "It's like a weird off-off-off-broadway production of Alice in Wonderland starring Meryl Street on opium. I love it." Jinkx stares at her for a second. Then they start to laugh. It's the loudest, most honest laugh Alex has heard in a long time. She can't help herself but to start giggling as well. Was her joke really that funny? "This is..." Jinkx gasps for air. "...the most on point description of this place I've ever heard. I'll print that on a door mat." Their laugh turns into a soft giggle before they take another sip of coffee. "So what do you wanna do?" Alex, who is being brought back to reality, looks down at her cereal. Whatever she chooses to do, she knows that it won't feel right. But is that really her heart speaking? Or is she overthinking again? "I..." She watches one of the chocolate covered crisps swimming in the foggy milk. The shape seems familiar but Alex can't figure out where she has seen it before. "Don't worry, I won't be offended if you don't want to stay here. I just thought it would be more convenient for you. But maybe that was a stupid thing to assume." "No. I...I think you're right. I just think your offer is so generous and I feel bad saying yes." "Let me tell you something." Alex lifts her head. Their eyes meet. "Life advice number one: If you want or need something, ask for it. You might run against a cold shoulder or two. But that is ten times better than holding back when you would have been greeted with open arms." Jinkx continues to smile at her but something their eyes has changed. Alex looks back down at her cereal bowl. "I guess it would be really helpful and nice of you..." She clears her throat. "...if I could stay at your place for another day or two to get my thoughts sorted." She forces herself to lift her head. "Like this?" Jinkx nods and lets out a muffled chuckle. "Good job."

The rest of the morning went by smoothly and Alex can feel her brain and body relax bit by bit the more she is talking to Jinkx. First they go into a seemingly endless monologue about drag which quickly turns into a verbal study of musical theater and fine arts overall and somehow they manage to connect those topics with the meaning of life in general and family values in particular, making a quick detour to the concept of gender, all of that while walking countless times through the room, holding their refilled coffee mug, sitting down next to Alex on the sofa from time to time and taking a sip before getting up again, wiping the dust off of the tv screen with their fingers, scratching their head and pulling numerous funny faces to underline the words leaving their mouth. Alex is having the time of her life listening to Jinkx's stories and comments and analyzis. She just loves hearing them talk. But something makes the whole situation uncomfortable. Watching Jinkx walk around, gesture widely and grimacing, it feels more like a stage play than a conversation. Something about the way Jinks chooses their words, the way they use their voice to its full potential to bring colour into the stories, makes it all feel a bit unnatural. Alex doesn't feel like this is the person she had breakfast with earlier this day. It's the woman who had picked her up at the bus stop, the woman with the loud hair and the beautiful green dress. And Alex isn't sure how to feel about it.

Around noon Jinkx went to take a shower ("I completely forgot to this morning. I must be reeking of cat piss.") When they came back, they put on some movie on Netflix which Alex had never heard of before. But to be fair, she is not a movie lover to begin with. "Do you live here on your own?" Jinkx turns their head and for the first time today, it takes a while before they find the right answer. "Yeah, most of the time. Well I actually live in San Francisco, but I stay in Seattle when I'm meeting with friends or for work reasons. I have an apartment in Portland as well. But when I'm staying here, I'm mostly by myself. Why are you asking?" "Oh I'm just curious. Are all of your places decorated like this?" "Well I- Hold up." Jinkx grabs their phone which was lying next to them on the couch. It's buzzing. When Jinkx looks down at the screen, their smile dims. "Sorry but someone's calling." They get up and walk towards the door leading to the hallway. "This might take a while. You can just continue watching if you want to." They leave the room. Alex is a bit baffled but then she shakes it off and brings her concentration back to the movie. Or at least she tries to. As much as she wants to know what the phone call is about, who is calling and why Jinkx suddenly looked so grim, she stays firmly planted on the sofa. Spying is for little kids. But the situation makes Alex think of her own phone. She should finally check for new messages, see what her mom has replied to her last SMS. Or see if Hannah has messaged her. But she is too scared. It's not time yet. The movie