Too Broke For Afterlife

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I look at Walter who is staring at his hands. When I carefully pat his shoulder, he smiles weakly. 

What a story. What a build-up for such a regular death.

Looking at Walter I would have never guessed that he has been a hacker once. But then again, this is a robot with his soul inside. I can't know what the real Walter looked like.

Clemens had told me that he had tried to customize his body to look like his old self. But Walter? And Nox? They are complete mysteries.

"Okay, okay. Let me sum this up. You died because you thought you were being followed and raced into a car?" 

Parker seems amused by the story and shakes his head.

"And you drank yourself into a coma. Are you really the right person to make fun of me?"

Parker rolls his eyes. "Chill, I'm just joking. You're dead, why are you still so defensive? What are you trying to protect?"

Walter gets up but I quickly grab his arm to pull him back down. We really don't need a fist fight right now, especially not if one party is indestructible.

Suddenly I feel a pair of piercing eyes lying on me and turn to look at Isabella.

Her head turns away but her expression stays. Angry. Sour. Disappointed.

Is she jealous? Because I made a friend? Does she see Walter as a threat?

I wish I could just ask her but Isa has made it obvious that she does not want to talk to me even though it should be me who is mad, not the other way around.

"So, who would like to continue? Nox?" 

Everyone looks at the red-haired woman but she shakes her head. "Forget it."

"But why?" Clemens seems surprised. "We are all baring our souls, shouldn't you do the same?"

"I don't have a soul. And it's really nobody's business. If you want to have a camping party, please. But don't pull me into your childish games."

"Damn." Parker takes a sip from his cup. "You really are a party pooper, aren't you?"

Nox hisses at him. "Want me to kill you?"

"Wouldn't be my first time at the rodeo."

"Children, quiet." 

Clemens has raised his hands and closed his eyes. He takes a deep breath and then turns to me.

"Judy, what about you? You haven't faced death yet, have you?"

I huff. "Well, my life has been in danger before because a certain someone decided to lock me in a room with a murderer."

I throw a quick glance at Isabella but she is staring into the flames, not even batting an eyelash.

"But I haven't died yet, no. And I'd like to keep it that way."

"Maybe you would still like to tell us something about yourself? Something that has impacted you? Shaped you as a person?"

I don't really want to follow Clemens' request. Especially not with my ex present. But the desire to share a part of me, using the chance of getting the needed attention, is bigger and so I nod.

"Alright. Though my story probably won't be as exciting as yours."

<<<

On my 17th birthday I decided to throw a house party. My parents promised to leave for the weekend and I invited my friends and classmates over. It was a fairly small group, maybe 20 people but big enough to have some careless fun.

I was never a party person but that day I decided to put on a nice dress, buy lots of beer and let loose.

My boyfriend Hunter came as well. We had only been dating for a few weeks at that point, it wasn't super serious and so far we had kept our relationship a secret in order to avoid any drama at school. 

Hunter was quite popular, the type of guy all girls would have a crush on but he was also a great person. So kind and sweet. 

That night I lost my virginity to him. 

Like in every highschool movie we got tipsy, went upstairs and locked my bedroom door. And you know what happened then.

Now, all of this doesn't make for a very interesting story but believe me when I tell you that the following day, shit went down.

Someone had seen us sneak away the previous night and come out of my room in the morning. And that someone was Chelsea.

Chelsea was a friend of mine and a month or two prior I actually had come out to her. I had a bit of a crush on her and I think she knew that but of course she didn't return my feelings. That's not why I came out anyway, I just needed to share and she seemed the best person to talk to.

But you know who Chelsea liked? She was madly in love with Hunter. She was practically obsessed with him, always following him everywhere and sounding out his buddies. That'S one of the reasons why our relationship was a secret.

When Chelsea found out that he and I had spent the night together, our little friendship quickly turned into a huge nightmare.

She got really mad. In fact, she was furious. I tried to talk to her and explain that we were dating but to her, our relationship was a horrible crime against the girl code. 

To be fair, I didn't know what a girl code was but I understood why she was hurt. To her, I took away her man. Even though Hunter had shown no interest in her whatsoever.

Sadly, none of my apologies and explanations helped and Chelsea made it her goal to ruin my life.

It started with the simple vandalism of our school toilets.

'Judith Hill sucks dick' it soon read in gold sharpie on all the walls. 

Of course she also posted my phone number in the guys' stalls. 'Call XXX for a good time.' Luckily Hunter saw those before anyone else could and got rid of them.

Still, the accusations kept coming back until the walls were full of golden words, some of which were covered with black scribbles. 

I could have been able to deal with that but Chelsea seemed to notice my calamity and when she realized that I stood above her childish escapades, she took it ten steps further.

One day an Instagranny profile popped up in everyone's feed. 

'SugarBaby69'

To my horror, all the posts were pictures of me talking to random guys - from classmates to friends to even my cousin. Every caption read the same.

'Another happy customer. DM me if you're feeling lonely too. x'

Of course I knew that Chelsea was behind all this and confronted her but she just laughed in my face and reminded me that I had no proof whatsoever. I even went to the school counselor and he set up a meeting with me, Chelsea and our parents but that wasn't successful either.

Chelsea denied everything and the counselor shrugged his shoulders and said that I should try emailing Instagranny and ask them to delete the profile

Well, he didn't understand how technology works.

Not everyone was dumb enough to fall for the fake profile but more and more often I got approached by strangers in school, asking me how much I charge. Soon it got so bad that I even got recognized in the streets. 

I always tried to explain that it was fake and just a prank but once a thought is planted into someone's head, it's hard to get it out again.

In a matter of weeks I had turned into the town's local whore.

Nobody cared that I had only ever had sex once, they didn't want to hear it. 

Luckily, my family stuck by me. 

That was, until that one fateful day when Chelsea turned up in front of our house, crying.

She refused to talk while I was present but I later found out that she had told my parents about my coming out. And how I tried to hit on her but she turned me down. She said that I got angry and created the profile myself so I could accuse her of bullying me.

My parents didn't really believe her but when my military dad heard about his daughter crushing on another girl, that's where he really lost it.

I didn't want to deny it and admitted to being queer.

He didn't talk to me for a whole month.

My mom kept conversations short and superficial.

It took my parents a while until they started treating me like their child again.

Only my brother kept acting like nothing ever happened, bless his soul. 

Against what I had expected, Hunter did not break up with me and we stayed together until we started college. 

I moved away. Found new friends. Joined the LGBTQ+ club. I became an adult.

But to this day I am scared of letting loose around people I'm interested in, worried my old reputation would track me down. And the relationship with my parents never got back to how it once was.

They tolerate my sexuality but it's something we don't ever talk about. I wish I could have come out to them on my own terms. Maybe that would have provided me with the respect I need today. 

And then there also wouldn't be a huge ugly graffiti on that abandoned supermarket reading 'Judy Hill eats pussy'.