Longmen Memoirs

Wei Yanwu's shout frightened her.

"Wipe your tears away."

"Well, I..."

Wei Yanwu sighed softly.

"Or...just cry for 5 minutes. After crying, if you stop crying, I will tell you what to do."

She finally couldn't help but burst into tears, calling Xiaota's name and clutching Wei Yanwu's hand tightly.

Wei Yanwu looked at the sky. He originally wanted to bow down and comfort the short girl, but after hesitation, he felt that he was not worthy.

Her cries finally subsided.

"Don't cry anymore."

"Well, I want Xiaota to come back, what should I do?" she asked, wiping her tears.

"Yes, what should I do? Is it really possible for Xiaota to come back? Will uncle lie to me? Mom... Mom said that you only know how to lie. Can I really believe you?"

"Maybe." He wasn't sure. "I also made a huge mistake, which caused your mother to hate me to her core throughout her life, and she could not let go until her death. What she said was excusable."

"But mistakes can be made up for. Hui Jie, listen, doing the right thing is worth your life, correcting the mistake is worth risking your life. Tallulah's departure was a mistake, and I have all the consequences of this mistake. They will all bear the responsibility.”

Wei Yanwu looked at the girl.

"And you, Hui Jie, grow up quickly."

"What will it be like when you grow up?"

"Your words, when you grow up... you can change everything."

"Really?!"

"Perhaps, or as long as you believe it, it is true." He said, "I will teach you swordsmanship, Chixiao's swordsmanship."

When you grow up you can change everything.

In the end she couldn't change anything.

For so many years, she has been working hard to get out of the haze.

Chen suddenly thought, but when she looked at Chen Mo in front of her, if he was still here at that time, would he have left with Tallulah?

Should be.

Chen didn't know.

Chen Mo couldn't remember how many times he had narrowly escaped death and survived disasters over the years. Just like the dense and crisscrossing scars on his body, they seemed to be telling him and Chen.

That so-called beautiful dream will eventually wake up under the ravage of reality.

"Do you want to continue?"

Chen Mo looked at Chen Mo, let go of his hand, and lay on the sofa. Chen was in front of him. His long blue hair was spread out, covering her sight. But she could feel Chen Mo's eyes, but she didn't know. How to answer his question.

Time seemed to have stopped at that moment, and it was so quiet that even the sound of breathing could not be heard. The sun still shone warmly on them. Chen's shadow enveloped Chen Mo. He lay in Chen's shadow, and there was darkness inside.

They seemed to be separated, just like in that room many years ago, Chen was sitting in the warm and bright sunshine, while Chen Mo and Tallulah were sitting on the other side, hiding in the darkness, looking at the sun bathing them. Chen next.

There is no envy, no regret, just yearning, a trace of yearning, yearning for that warm and bright light, but it is out of reach.

Not a piece of intact skin fell into Chen's eyes, and it was a long time before Chen Mo heard her voice.

"No."

Her voice was very low, almost like a whisper. She was unable to raise her head for a long time. She raised her head to look at Chen Mo. Her eyes hidden behind her hair flashed with emotions that Chen Mo couldn't see.

It's intolerance, mixed with sympathy.

At that moment, Chen suddenly understood a lot of things, many things that he had thought about before but subconsciously denied.

"Are you satisfied?"

Chen Mo finally understood why Chen fought with him and kept it on his clothes when he took action.

Really stupid.

In Chen Mo's sight, Chen slowly raised his head.

She looked into Chen Mo's eyes and wanted to dodge, but in the end she didn't look away.

"Tell me, what happened?"

Her voice was trembling slightly, and her eyes were pleading. Chen Mo had never seen such an expression on Chen. The Chen in his memory was strong, lively and cheerful.

Chen Mo hopes that she can continue like this, but he【/

The boy-like Chen in his memory has become Chen Mo's memory forever.

"There are so many things, so many that I can't even remember them anymore."

Chen Mo looked into those bright red pupils, and fragments of memories from the past ten years flashed through his mind uncontrollably.

Those dead people, those living people, that dark carriage, that boy holding the dagger.

Explosions, noises, battles, smoke, dazzling flames, a broken world, the cold and pale blade being swung down, and thick scarlet blood splashing on the face.

stumbling.

“I inadvertently missed out on the memories we were meant to keep.”

You, me, Tallulah, the three of us are no longer the innocent children in the orphanage when we were children. All the things in the past, those nostalgic laughter and laughter, have long since been lost like lost water. not coming back.

Just as I was sitting on a bench by the port, those strange yet familiar scenes seemed familiar, but they had become unfamiliar.

A strange city, a strange street, obviously very familiar, but I can no longer find my direction.

There are always some things that have to disappear to prove their preciousness, and their names are buried in the throat. In these ten years, I have grown up and become careless and calculating.

"I went back to Longmen and met Wei Yanwu."

Chen's breathing suddenly stagnated, his eyes dimmed slightly, and his eyelids drooped.

"yes."

Chen didn't show any surprise and murmured softly. She could understand what happened to him just by looking at the terrifyingly dense injuries.

"We have all grown up, Chen, and you are no longer the child you were before."

"I see."

"You don't understand, so don't feel guilty or indebted."

Chen Mo stretched out his hand and gently smoothed away the messy hair from her forehead. Looking at the face that was no longer consistent with his memory, he tried his best to find a familiar look.

"You don't owe anyone anything. This is not your fault. Maybe..." Chen Mo put down his hand and looked at Chen, who was close at hand, and her lowered eyes.

"It's our destiny to encounter these things."

Chen, who was involved and tortured by those past, became increasingly gray and cold, and there was no place I was familiar with anymore.

"Why!"

Chen suddenly shouted loudly, as if awakened by his words, she grabbed Chen Mo's collar and asked loudly.

It's like asking him, but also like asking yourself again.

Why, why do you have to face such a thing, why can I stand aside and watch with peace of mind, why, why do you... all want to interfere in my life.

"There are not so many reasons in the world... Everyone's life is walking according to its planned route. Some people are high up, some people fall into the dust, some people live, some people die. We just happen to be like this, but at least, we all Still alive.”

"This land will not tolerate anyone just because of their experiences." Chen Mo said, "You shouldn't have come here."

Chen really shouldn't have come, nor should she continue to press and get an answer that she hoped for but was more difficult to answer.

In your eyes, what kind of person am I?

I am not your relative, and we are not friends who are so good that we cannot be separated.

If you hadn't come over, you wouldn't have encountered such a thing, and you wouldn't be as troubled and entangled as you are now. I don't want you to come over, but I can't deny that there is actually a trace of expectation in my heart.

Chen Mo couldn't deny that he was a selfish person. He selfishly hoped that Chen could come over and that Chen could know these things. But at the same time, he didn't want or dare to let her know these things.

There are so many people in the world who are suffering and wronged. Not everyone wants it and can be understood by others. More often, it is a person who silently endures, endures loneliness, and endures pain.

"If I don't come over, are you going to hide it from me forever?"

"Not in a lifetime."

The word "lifetime" is too far away. If Chen had not come over, they would never meet again. Chen Mo would not and could not allow himself to meet her again.

But Chen Mo also knows that maybe Chen will know this one day, and one day he will see Tallulah again. Inevitably, he may also meet himself.

The world is big, but actually it is also very small, so small that one can look up and pass by without even noticing.

"Chen Mo, you selfish coward!!!"

Chen's hand holding his collar became tighter and tighter, and the distance between him and her suddenly closed. Chen Mo was so close that he could see his current appearance in her eyes.

And she could also see her own appearance in Chen Mo's eyes.

Their eyes reflected each other's figures, staring at each other under the bright sunlight falling in from the window.

"I am a coward, a selfish and cowardly coward."

I tried to interfere in your life, and I also tried to make you pretend that nothing happened. I tried to change these, but I failed again and again.I wanted to exclude you, but I forgot how you felt.

"I will never forgive you, never again, never can I forgive you!"

"……fair enough."

Chen Mo gave up struggling and resisting. Chen Mo looked at the face that was now extremely dazzling in her eyes, and the indifferent expression on his face.

After a long time, he slowly let go of his hand.

Chen left, and Chen Mo watched her leaving figure gradually disappearing from sight, just like he watched the car carrying Chen drift away many years ago.

He can only watch.

You can treat many people and many things as nothing happened and don't care about them, but there are always one or two people in this world that you care about and can't forget even if you want to.

Just because there are some things in your heart that only you can understand. A person can escape everything in the world, but he can never escape himself.

Chen Mo couldn't escape himself or the past in his memory, the coldness, warmth, joy and frolic.

I can't deny them, deny that I met her on that rainy night, deny that I met Chen in that winter.

It was they who made me feel the warmth later and made me no longer lonely, but they were also the ones who promoted my later life. This was my choice.

Over the years, I have gained a lot, but at the same time I have also lost something. I am always wandering between gain and loss. No one can tell what is right or wrong, but for me, it is enough.

Chen Mo was very glad, and he is still rejoicing to this day. He was glad that he did not die in that mud-filled concentration camp, he was glad that he came to the orphanage, he was glad that he met the kind nuns, and he was glad that he could live with them. Those days and nights.

He lost that warm home, lost her, and lost his childhood. He thought he would keep losing it until one day he died in an unknown corner.

But they accepted him, and he had a new home. Although Chen Mo later lost it, what else could he be dissatisfied with.

Although no one said it or admitted it personally, to Chen Mo, they were his last family members.

Even if it's just wishful thinking, people will always do one or two stupid things, but even if they know they are wrong, what does it matter.

Chapter 44 Foreshadowing everything

The Crystal Age is an era full of pain and hatred, and we are just a tiny microcosm of this era.

Year after year, old scars and new wounds appear.

Over the years, Chen Mo has seen too many similar experiences to him, and there are many people who are worse than him. Compared with those people, they are lucky enough, just like being envied by others when they left the concentration camp, despite this Life, in the eyes of others, is enough to be enviable.

But people are greedy, greedy for more, and in this extravagant desire, they lose what they originally have in their hands.

Looking back now, Chen Mo should be grateful to Wei Yanwu. Although it was him who made him what he is now, made him, Chen and Xiaota what he is now, it was Wei Yanwu who made Chen Mo understand and prevented him from being like before. He was so weak that he could only lower his hands and watch everything that happened.

He had hated his powerlessness and weakness so much, and had been too numb to think about it in the endless numbness. But later when he came to the orphanage, Chen Mo began to recall it again, until finally, he fell deeper and deeper into it.

Time is like this, cold and ruthless, always running silently【&

So he and Chen will eventually separate in the tide of time, and they will no longer be able to see each other. They still vaguely remember their original voices and smiles, and they can only look at her and the memories in their minds, becoming increasingly thin and powerless.

Just like the yellowed and blurry photo printed on the tombstone.