Use My Life For Your Happiness

I'm dancing in hell. I'm too dirty to get up.

In his body under the pain, from a girl into a woman.

Black cloth untied, that pair of visiting black eyes looked at me, stroked my face and called me: "Jessica, Chinese name Jessica."

I said, "yes."

He would smile, and his meaningful eyes could not contain the dark taste in his eyes.

"It's fate to meet you in France." He said.

I don't believe in fate any more. I only believe in retribution. I hate my father to death. If it wasn't for him, would I be like this? Would my mother be like that? Hate, Dad, can you be at ease when you die? Now you protect your daughter in the palm of your hand. She is so dirty that she can be played with.

"I'll give you another 500000 euros for three months."

"Good." Once is dirty, three months is dirty.

What I want now is money. He wrote a number and gave me a key: "come on Wednesday, Saturday."

"OK, but after each time, I want cash." I'm in good shape.

He touched my face: "I always like good girls."

Like, really funny two words, I dressed, tired and embarrassed to go to the hospital, the money to the doctor, my mother saw me cry, quietly cry.

But I hold her hand smile, face buried in her hand, absorb the little warmth, mom, I have nothing, so mom you don't leave me.

Just a little bit of warmth, I want to seize, dead to seize, I am sentimentally attached, incomparable attachment.

The doctor called me: "Mo Qian Xun."

At that moment, I thought my name was wrong. Who was mo Qianxun? I don't remember.

It must not be me. My name is Jessica.

"Mo Qianxun." The doctor came over and said, "I'll discuss with you about your mother."

It turned out to be me. When I went out, my tired body couldn't even stand steadily, so I leaned against the wall.

He said to me, "now that you've given me the money, it's good. You can arrange an operation tomorrow. When she recovers for a while, you can arrange another operation."

On Wednesdays and Saturdays, I went to accompany the man who bought me. He asked for my body to his heart's content. After each time, he gave me the cash. At other times, I went dancing. My stomach was bleeding twice. I didn't dare to carelessly buy another bread to eat for one day.

What makes me happy is that my mother's operation is very successful this time. She can not only speak without hindrance, but also do some simple actions.

I've never been so filial to my mother. I used to be the ancestor of a stranger. My mother took care of me. Now I'm my mother's umbrella. I come to take care of her with my passport. I give her wind and rain.

I stew porridge for my mother every day. As long as she gets better, I can do anything.

I thought all the people were far away from me and gave up on me.

My kids, I had a fierce fight with them, because I want to be with Lin Duan. They think that Lin Xiage likes me, how can I like other people? After a fight, everyone turned away.

They don't want to hear moqianxun, and they don't want to look for moqianxun.

I thought that Lin Duan would not come to look for me. Now when I talk about my family in China, it's everyone's curse.

He came, I left him, reluctantly holding him, refused to let go.

He patted me on the back: "Chihiro, it's OK for you to go there. You can learn to be more independent. In China, too many rumors will slander you."

"But I can't bear you, Lin Duan." Tell me not to leave, tell me not to leave, please.

"Go, your mother has gone through the formalities. I will go to France to see you and look for you. I will transfer after finishing my school. I want to go to France. My father told me to go to the United States, but if I go to France, I will certainly guard you. Foreigners are very open. I'm afraid you will be taken away, and I'm even more afraid you will learn badly."

I just laugh. He's nervous. I'm so good.

"Then you must come to France to see me. If you don't come, I'll learn French. I'll find a boyfriend in France and dump you. "

Lin Duan laughed and pinched my nose: "I will definitely go to you."

"Well, I believe you. You must come."

He didn't come. He never came.

Universities in China are on holiday now. France is so hot that they rush to hospitals and dance halls every day. They are numb.

On Wednesdays and Saturdays, I would go to bed with that man regularly, and every time I could get a lot of money to support my mother's next operation.

When mom is ready, I won't go with him again. Sell what you have and achieve what you want.

But Lin Duan came. We didn't live in the old place any more, so he gave me some money to inquire. Knowing that I washed dishes and went to inquire, he inquired about the places where I danced thigh dance. I was jealous that I was doing well now. Many people like to tip me and ridicule Lin Duan as my benefactor.

After changing clothes to work, several people laughed: "Jessica, your benefactor has come."

I don't care. I jump enthusiastically. Anyway, opening my mouth is laughing. I lift the bottle to my mouth and drink it. If I drink one bottle, I can get a tip. Those men will put money in their brassieres. Lin Duan will see everything. He can't believe that I am proud and noble.

Always followed, he said to me: "Mo Qian Xun, what they said is true, whether you sold yourself to others."

"Yes." Yes, no, No. I won't lie to you.

Lin Duan was very angry: "Mo Qianxun, are you so mean? Do you have to torture yourself like this? I think you're wrong. You've always been a daughter who can't stand the pain. You can't even be independent. I came to France to see you just to be with you, Mo Qianxun, but now Mo Qianxun, I don't know you. "

I scream, I wash dishes, I accompany men, I am dying of pain when I did not shed tears, you blame, but let my tears.

In fact, when I saw him standing under the light, Tsinghua was so clean that I felt sad. I felt sorry for myself, because I was no longer worthy of you, Lin Duan.

You don't care that I'm the daughter of a embezzler, but our pure oath is that we will be together forever.

I think I can't, really can't, I'm dirty, I don't want to dye you black, even if I love you so much.

I obstinately looked at him: "Lin Duan, I want you to control, who are you? You say you love me, what do you love me, do you want to have sex with me?" Hurt him, he hurt away, so I dirty black world, can no longer have sad.

His mobile phone rang, he connected and said: "Lin Jing, I'm in France. I found Chihiro."

"I want you to take care of me. What do you want me to do? I'm just with men. I'm betraying myself."

He roared at me: "Mo Qianxun, can you not be so cheap?"

PA hung up the phone, grabbed my shoulder: "I don't believe you will become like this, you compensate my mo Qianxun back, I came to France, I came to find her, I want to be with her."

But Lin Duan really can't go back.

The Korean woman who came off work together said with a smile, "Jessica, it's good. She seduced another man. This one looks very tender. Here comes the car to pick you up. I saw you vomit in the bathroom just now. Are you pregnant? Oh, my God, who is the father of the child? "

Lin Duan gave me a hard look: "in fact, I really love you." He turned and left.

I really want to hold him, but I can only stop at the roadside, heartache.

He strode along, biting his teeth and swallowing his tears.

My mother is going to have an operation again. I gave all the money to the doctors. They told me that this time it might be a little dangerous.

I didn't go to the thigh dance again. I didn't go to the mysterious house again. Break it. Break it. I really feel bad. Thinking about Lin Duan's eyes, I cut me like a knife.

Walking in the streets of France, heartache such as twist, step by step difficult.

Passers by looked at me in surprise. I looked back. It turned out that there was blood on the ground. I don't know when it came from my legs.

Dizzy, fell to the ground that moment, seems relaxed.

If only I never had to wake up.

Let me sleep in hell and never wake up again, so that I won't remember being so dirty.

Well meaning people sent me to a private clinic nearby, but I didn't have money. They told me that I was three months pregnant, and now the fetus may not be preserved.

I grab my hair. I want to go crazy. Why don't you let me die.

No money, can only take medicine abortion, once again the bleeding is picking up the bottle, no money to cure the body, my mother's hospital doctor told me, I may not be pregnant again.

Even tears are not, empty hole to look at the mirror that people are not people, ghosts are not ghosts of me.

Why don't you let me die? I've already climbed the top floor of the hospital. I want to fall down. The doctor came up and said to me, "Jessica, your mother has something to tell you. Don't blow the air here."

My mother took my hand and looked at me painfully.

I said to her with a smile, "Mom, Chihiro is not tired at all. Chihiro had never worked before. Now in France, he has learned everything. "

"The doctor said you were bleeding so much that you might not be pregnant again."

"Mom." So she heard it.

"Chihiro, this is the evil done by your parents."

"No, mom. It's good for mom to finish the operation again. Chihiro will wash dishes more after that. We'll get through these hard days. Chihiro has nothing left. We can't live without mom."

She gently stroked my face: "Mom's Chihiro has always been the bravest and most filial Chihiro. Chihiro, don't hate dad. Dad loves Chihiro very much, and mom loves dad very much. "

I can't say I don't hate it. I really hate it. If it wasn't for my father's greed, we wouldn't go to such a field.

"Chihiro, mom and dad left you a lot of property, but Chihiro, you have to work hard for a few more years and learn to be more independent to get it. This is a gift for obedient children. Honey, mom is very sorry for you."

"Mom, don't say that."

"If it wasn't for mom, baby would always be an angel."

"Mom, don't say it like this. It's all destiny. Mom, don't blame yourself. No matter when Qianxun's wings are black, Qianxun is also her angel, right?" I don't want to hear that. I have a lot of fear in my heart.

My mother burst into tears with a smile: "yes."

"Don't worry, mom. Just have another operation. Chihiro won't sell himself any more. Chihiro doesn't want to have children. Chihiro will always be a mother's child."

My mother grasped my bony hand: "Qianxun, if my mother can't do it, you will go back home and marry Qiao Dongcheng. Only when you marry him can your mother rest assured that your uncle and mother will be picky. Qianxun, you have suffered a lot and we can endure a lot of grievances. Is it true that Qiao Dongcheng is a good child? Qianxun, ask them to fulfill their promise to your father, Let Qiao Dongcheng marry you, have a home, a shelter, no fright, nothing. "

"Mom, no, I want to stay with mom, and I don't want to listen to mom."

"Promise me."

I nodded hard: "OK."

The doctor pushed her to the operating room. At that time, her mother didn't wake up again.

No wonder she would say so many words to me. When it was cold and cold, I lay beside my mother, desperately trying to warm my mother with my own body temperature.

I'm not willing to let my mother burn ashes, tear my heart and tear my lungs to protect her. No matter how many tears and pain, I can't save my mother.

I dressed up my mother and sent her to the incinerator. I always remember the sunshine in a room. My mother looked back at me on the table with lilies and laughed, "Chihiro, you're wrestling again. How can you always be so careless?"

At that time, my mother was the most beautiful.

Now I've been tumbling. Mom, I don't feel pain. Mom, I'll stand up.

Hold my mother's ashes, in any corner of the street, the sun is so strong that I can't open my eyes, cry too red, hold tightly, want to absorb the warmth in the ashes box, the people who love me most in the world, have left me.

Looking up at the sky, let the French sun shine on my tears, drop by drop to slide down.

Passers by tossed me a coin and I used it to call Joe's house.

This time it happened that Qiao Dongcheng picked it up.

He had a Beijing accent: "hello? How are you Then he said, "nanny Park, is this phone broken?"

"No, master, I'll make a mask for my wife, and I'll have a look later."

Hearing his voice, I couldn't help crying.

"Hello, who are you? "Chihiro?"

I cried even louder: "Qiao Dongcheng."

"Chihiro, what's the matter with you? What are you crying about? Please tell me."

"I want to go home." I cried and said, "I'll wait for you at the airport."