Why Can’t I Play Games

  Chapter 118 Thief Simulator! (Four thousand words!)

year 2006!

   January 1.

  The old and beautiful Los Angeles has snow.

  Joe Roy looked at the snowflakes outside the window, and the whole person fell into unprecedented anxiety.

  Although the sales of Apple mobile phones are good, they are still advancing with more than 15,000 units a day.

  However, Phelps’ mobile phone sales have not decreased due to the impact of the Apple 3 series. Instead, they have gradually moved on par with the Apple 3 mobile phones.

  One day's sales volume, even maintained around 10,000!

  Furthermore, what is even more terrifying is that because of the open source code of Phelps Android system, China and even mobile phone vendors around the world seem to have a tendency to join.

At the same time, according to the information received so far, he found that Tong Wei, from China, is traveling to major cities in the United States almost every day. "On the side of the store, it was replaced by their Apple Technology store, and beside the store, a banner saying "Apple phones can't be carried, Universe Mall, but Android system can"!

   What makes people speechless and helpless is that half of the explosion of Phelps mobile phones is due to the impact of the mobile phone itself and various activities of the communication providers, and the other half is due to the games on the universe platform!

  FUCK! Recently, each of the games produced by the universe platform has been hit in major social circles, and the topic is full...

  Whether it’s "Crazy Pipe Bird", "Crazy Mario", or even "Mountain Simulator", games that show insults to people's IQ have all been hit hot searches!

  Even, there was a video of a street interview, which went directly to the homepage of major portals!

  What’s even more exaggerated is that in the old American UC game company, there is such a title on the homepage!

  "The era of mobile games is on..."

"Part of the stand-alone games under the UC company have reached an agreement with Universe Technology, and will work together to study the Universe Technology Mall embedded in the "Phelps" mobile phone! In the near future, everyone can play Phelps only on their mobile phones. It's a game!"

  "……"

  This crazy combination of punches caught Joe Roy by surprise!

  For no reason, there is a sense of danger of being surrounded and suppressed.

  UC company!

  Joe Roy remembered an event last year, early 2005!

  High-level UC company, Rocky had come to Apple Technology in person, and talked to him about the integration of games into Apple computers, hoping to develop together with Apple computers...

  But later, Apple Technology finally chose Tyrannosaurus, the largest gaming giant in the United States.

  Definitely choose Tyrannosaurus!

  Tyrannosaurus’s "War of Warcraft" was released in Lao Mei, it became the No. 1 of Lao Mei’s online games. When it entered China, it was even more popular among Chinese players!

  On the other hand, UC Company, although there are some of its own online games with a lot of traffic, it is basically based on agency games and stand-alone games.

  Single-player games really can't make much waves on the Internet. They account for a proportion of players and are no better than online games. Moreover, in terms of overall strength, whether it is in terms of capital or company history, they are no better than Tyrannosaurus Technology!

  Naturally, it is not the first echelon choice chosen by Joe Roy.

  However, no one can think of it. Since several publicly announced games entered the old American games, UC's traffic has skyrocketed, and even reached an astonishing level!

  At this moment, Joe Roy realized that he had miscalculated!

  Future mobile phone performance does take up a proportion, but as long as the mobile phone can run mobile games, I am afraid that mobile games are also a big trend!

   Joe Roy's eyes widened!

not good!

  Wrong!

   Just when Joe Roy's heart was shocked, he heard a knock on the door.

  Then...

   "Mr. Joe Roy, the Universe Mall has updated the game again!"

"what game!"

   ""Thief Simulator"!"

"what?"

  "……"

  Joe Roy when he heard "The Thief Simulator", the whole person buzzed.

  Universal Technology can really update a new game in two days?

  Where did their ideas come from?

  Why do they feel crazy?

  "Thief Simulator"?

  Could it be this kind of game that engages people with a mentality again?

   Joe Roy heard the voice of the assistant's tangled expression before he could react in speechlessness...

   "Mr. Joe Roy..."

"What's wrong!"

   "There is a scene in the game's promotional poster, which seems, um, very similar to our Apple technology, the only difference is that its trademark is a durian with a gap..."

   "WHAT?"

  "……"

   Joe Roy shocked his whole body when he heard this. When he took over the assistant's notebook, he instantly felt that his heart had a problem!

  "This person...this person, this person is going to kill us!"

  "FUCK, tell me, where did we provoke this guy?"

   "Why do you feel that this guy is targeting us everywhere?"

  "……"

  ……………………

   "When everyone hates the "Crazy Pipe Bird" that was on fire a few days ago, when we were tortured by the **** "Crazy Mario"..."

  "While we were scolding "Dashan Simulator"..."

  "This wicked, hateful, satanic, and disgusting universe technology platform has been updated again!"

  "This time, they updated a "Thief Simulator". From the introduction, it is for us to play the role of a thief in this game to steal other people's homes..."

   "Yes, I'm sure, this broken game is for us to act as thieves to steal things!"

   "God, how did Universe Technology have developed such a low-quality game? This game is disgusting when people watch it!"

  "Can someone with integrity like me act as a thief? Impossible, it doesn't exist! I'm a well-known good guy in Los Angeles..."

"but……"

   "Hmm...hmm? Hmm!"

   "As a game reviewer, in order to avoid everyone encountering the same situation as "Mountain Simulator", I still download a "Thief Simulator" to help you evaluate it."

  "Just try to play, if it really sucks, or if it is pitted by the game...Don’t download it, everyone!"

  "……"

   Early in 2006.

Although there have not been a pile of game anchors ten years later, there is no live broadcast media, and there is no channel for monetizing fans, but many game enthusiasts like to record their games into videos and share them with everyone online, so as to accumulate some fans and A sense of identity.

  Peter is probably one of such a group of people.

  However, he entered this line by accident.

  The first video he recorded was "Crazy Pipe Bird".

When "Crazy Pipebird" appeared, he was also one of the people who was tossed to death by this game. One night, he was tossed and collapsed by "Crazy Pipebird" in order to vent his anger, so he failed. The video of is edited out and posted on the Internet again and again, to remind players who have seen the video not to enter the pit again!

  This is a trash game that hooks people's hearts, a trash game!

but!

  He didn't expect this video to become popular at all!

  In the video!

  He was exaggerated and yelled and couldn’t help but want to throw the phone. However, he was reluctant to throw it, and his disheveled hair made countless netizens come to sympathize and pay attention to him.

  One night, the comments under his video were broken by thousands. What is even more exaggerated is that on the second day, because of the high heat, his video was recommended on the homepage of the video website...

  The account with 0 fans instantly gained 30,000 fans!

  When he woke up the next day, he was completely dazed, and he couldn't even believe his eyes.

  Afterwards, he felt a surprise!

  When he saw those new fans who strongly asked him to evaluate "Crazy Mario", he felt an indescribable sense of identity and mission that could not be tried in reality.

  So...

   With excitement, he did another issue of "Crazy Mario" again!

Then!

  He broke down!

  If "Crazy Pipe Bird" keeps you playing, then "Crazy Mario" is a torturous heart, that is, you self-doubt that you are like a mentally retarded person.

  There are traps everywhere, and it will test your personal micromanagement ability. If you are not careful, the game will have to be restarted!

  This game seems to have only three lives, but after you die, the lives can still be deducted into a negative number for you!

  But, the cheat is that the game is not saved!

  Yes, as long as you die, this game has to be restarted.

  Of course, you can restart the level when you die, but the premise is that you have to be a member of the universe platform.

  Members...

one dollar!

not much!

   rushed!

  But, even so, Peter was still tortured in horror, his whole body collapsed to the point of crying, and he smashed the table more than once!

  His parents thought he was crazy.

   Died again and again, and soon died to -99 times!

  He finally passed the second level!

  Only then finished the recording, and finally he came to a conclusion that this is a more cheating game than "Crazy Pipe Bird" and not recommended to play!

After uploading it to the Internet, he slept all day long.

  There are scenes of abuse everywhere in my dreams.

  But I don’t know why, I abused myself and laughed.

  When he woke up at night and boarded the video site, he found that his video was pushed to the homepage by the video site again, and his account fans increased to 30,000...

  At the same time, the countless private messages on his homepage are sympathy and comfort.

  Of course, there is a group of gloating laughter.

  The following comment has created a brand new record!

  Peter was surprised.

  So many people are watching my video?

  Then, the following comment asked Peter to evaluate the "Dashan Simulator", a game that can make people a Buddha!

  Peter naturally agreed.

Then……

  He obeyed the arrangement of netizens, and after downloading "Dashan Simulator", he prepared everything to make the game torment him!

  "Hey, buddy, this is a very popular game in China. You can see things after you watch it for five hours..."

   "I heard it is a puzzle game..."

  "……"

  Followed by...

  He stared at the phone screen like a fool all night.

Then!

Nothing at all!

  Yes, there is nothing, no matter how much he tossed, there is nothing in this game.

  Recorded all night, and when dawn came the next day, he felt like a cerebral palsy.

  Five hours?

  I have been waiting for eight hours, and I have not waited for anything!

  He felt that this game and those netizens deceived his feelings.

  He finally recorded his stupid behavior and sent it to the Internet, and at the end of the video, he solemnly reiterated that he would never be able to play any games on the universe platform in his life!

  January 1st two days later.

  In a burst of cursing, he downloaded "The Thief Simulator".

  Hey, it smells so good!

   "Well, I'm helping the players to evaluate, so as to avoid being played by the evil universe platform!"

   "Come on, torture me, I am ready for everything, I even bought tranquilizers!"

   "There can be no more games that will crash me!"

   "Huh!"

  "I opened this "Thief Simulator", eh? This interface is actually very exquisite, which is much better than the interface of "Crazy Mario"..."

   "Huh? This game is unexpectedly okay. The graphics are also very delicate. It's very delicate in the mobile game."

  "Task reminder: Go to Durian Technology to steal durian phone?"

  "……"

  When Peter opened the game, he felt very surprised. The picture quality of this game is very detailed. Although it is not as good as the picture quality of the stand-alone games on the computer, it is much better than ordinary mobile games.

  This is very rare!

  Moreover, the mode turned out to be in the first-person mode. People can move with the buttons or tap the screen, and as the first-person game moves, you can see the surrounding scenery...

  Although the scene modeling is a bit rough, it seems to be driven out, but it is acceptable.

  The first task Peter received was to steal Durian’s mobile phone from Durian Technology and smash the toilet of Ren Durian Technology!

   "How is Durian Technology so similar to Apple Technology?"

  "Tell me, who can gnaw durian with the skin?"

  "Huh? The environment here is also very similar to the Apple Building?"

   "What do you use to smash the toilet? Do you use an iron rod?"

   "I will take out the iron rod and have a look!"

"Forehead……"

   "Let me take a closer look, it really looks like the door of Apple Technology, right?"

   "Huh? What's the matter with the security?"

   "FUCK, why came over and beat me for no reason, ah...what's going on? I'm sick!"

Just as Peter was observing the door of Durian Technology very seriously, and just when he called out the iron rod to ponder the task, suddenly, a few security guards rushed over, and took the electric baton to Peter. Electricity!

   "A thief is a thief!"

  "……"

  After leaving a Chinese curse, the word "END" appeared on the game screen!

  What the hell?

  Peter was dumbfounded.

  I was electrocuted just like that?

  When Peter came out, he suddenly saw a help prompt in the system.

"This game has a very high degree of freedom. Everything you see, cars, forklifts, buses, excavators, as long as you see everything, when no one pays attention, you can steal it in a specific way. !"

  "Due to research team restrictions, only durian technology copies are currently open!"

  "Tip: If you have the ability, not only can you steal the electric baton in the hands of the security guard, you can even remove the durian technology window and steal it..."

   "Did you see the security battery car? Do you have any idea of ​​stealing the battery?"

   "Yes! Yes, everything can be stolen!"

   "I wish you a happy game!"

  "……"

  Peter stared at the screen.

  He was dazed...

   (Weakly say, this chapter is four thousand words...)

  (End of this chapter)