Natural beauty, inspirational nature

Chapter 22 There is no more sorrow than death

Later, he found a job in a factory where a three-shift system was implemented.He chose to work the night shift, and he would go home to rest every morning when I went to work.When I got off work in the evening, he was going to go to work soon.

So much so that we can only meet each other once a day, and sometimes the commuting time of the two of them is completely staggered, and the two of them simply don't see each other all day long.

I feel like I'm really no different from the "widow" this time.

My mother called me to ask me how I was doing now, but I couldn't do anything. I felt that life was hopeless, and it was more painful than being single.

Every time I kindly made a table of his favorite dishes and waited for him to come back, he didn't just say that he had to come back later because of something in the factory, or that he ate at the factory today.

My mother was so anxious that she called my in-laws and asked his parents to persuade him to have the operation quickly.

His father also got serious this time, and even swore to my mother on the phone that if Xin Bao didn't listen to the persuasion this time, he would personally come over and take his son to the hospital.

My father-in-law is a man of integrity and he does what he says. Later, he really rushed from his hometown to Suzhou and sent Xinbao to Nanjing Drum Tower Hospital.

I didn't go with him this time, because I had to go to work, and my mother and I were very relieved to have his father come out in person.In those two days, news came from his father, saying that the big hospital was really more professional, and it was immediately judged that surgery was needed as soon as possible.But the surgery needs to be scheduled at another time, so I'm afraid I'll have to wait for a while.This is also expected. After all, there are too many patients in a large hospital, and it is thankful that the expert clinic can be ranked first.

It's just that none of us expected it, because my parents-in-law's family has no culture, and I don't know who heard the "bad idea" from my hometown. They had agreed to make an appointment for surgery at the provincial hospital, and they went back and forth. When I arrived at AH's hometown, I went to a little-known "andrology hospital" in AH County, and had a very ridiculous operation - circumcision.

Xin Bao returned to Suzhou after the operation, and asked for sick leave with the company. I thought he was undergoing varicocele surgery. I also want to say why he came back so soon. Didn’t I hear that it would take a while to arrange it? on it?As a result, when I heard that what was done was "circumcision", I was so angry that I couldn't speak.Really, there is no way to describe that kind of mood. "I'm so angry that people don't pay for their lives" refers to such a strange thing as Xin Bao.

Parents haven't gone to school and don't know what's wrong with their son. It's reasonable to be deceived. You, an educated college student, know what disease you have, but you allow the other party to have random operations.His father also regretted it after learning the truth.

It’s okay not to have this surgery, but once it’s done, I have to rest for another month. The appointment at Nanjing Drum Tower Hospital has to be cancelled, and I have to make a new appointment. The doctor said that the varicocele surgery can be arranged at least two months later.

In this way, he was lying on the bed and could not move, and the company did not allow employees to take long-term leave. In order to prepare for the next operation, he simply resigned to the company.After the varicocele operation, he rested at home for another three months, and it took more than half a year to come and go.

After more than half a year, he started to look for a job again, but he couldn't find a suitable job, so he just sat idle at home.At that time, I was under a lot of pressure. I had to take care of him who was sick, and I had to be busy with my own work. I had to repay the loan for the new house every month, and various expenses at home. All the burdens of the family were on me alone.

I have also been plagued by "insomnia" for a long time, and I am miserable.

At 30+, I have experienced all kinds of devastation in life, and I am no longer that chubby little girl.

Because I have lost a lot of weight, my figure is getting better and better. The natural baby face and S-shaped curvy figure are exactly the appearance of "angel face + devil figure" described by my classmates in college. I But I can't be happier anymore.

Thirty is the best age in a woman's life, shed the innocence of a girl in her 30s, and gained the charm of a mature woman, but under my beautiful appearance, there is a vicissitudes of life hidden.

Outsiders only see your external transformation, but they don't know how miserable your heart is.

I suffer from insomnia and can only sleep 2-3 hours every night.I grew up in the countryside. I like a quiet environment. I am naturally delicate. I am not the kind of big-hearted child. Some children can’t wake up when they are tired. I am sensitive to sound. As long as someone is there I couldn't sleep because of the loud conversations on the sidelines.

At that time, I just moved to a new house. I thought I could finally live in my own house. I no longer needed to live in a shared house with a group of people. I didn’t have to live in a space the size of a pigeon coop and suffer from all kinds of noise every day.Who would have expected that shortly after moving into their new home, the downstairs neighbor rented their house to a barber shop. Not only were the two rooms full of tenants, but even a pair of bunk beds were placed in the living room. , packed with people.

Seven or eight people rent a house together, and they have to work until midnight every night before going home.

As soon as we come back, we will put on a huge "life hodgepodge musical" for our family, washing up, slamming doors, singing (listening in the middle of the night is like ghosts crying and wolves howling), screaming Screaming at the top of their lungs, their family was so lively that it looked like the whole building was having a "rave party".

It was a pity that I changed to a new unit and it was far away from home. I had to get up at 5 o'clock in the morning every morning, and I had to go out to take the bus after 6 o'clock. It took two hours to get from home to the company in the industrial park.

So the rest time at night is very important to me, but the neighbor downstairs has a completely different schedule and living habits from my family.Because they can sleep in at home in the morning, go out at noon, and go home in the middle of the night every night, so as soon as they go home, the house becomes a mess.

The worst thing is the man who lives in the master bedroom with us. When he came to live in the first day, he successfully woke me up with the sound of the door slamming.

I had difficulty falling asleep, I tossed and turned for a long time, and finally felt a little drowsy. I was just about to fall asleep in a daze, when a sudden loud knocking on the door woke me up instantly.I was very angry when I was woken up. I didn't know what happened, so I couldn't help cursing: "What are you doing, who is this? Crazy."

This scolding was terrible, the guy downstairs heard it right away, and scolded me across the air, not only that, every day in the future, as soon as he came home, he would definitely slam the door back and forth several times, intentionally or unintentionally.While falling, he purposely scolded at the top of his voice: Crazy!
Since then, I have also clearly realized that the upstairs and downstairs are not soundproof at all. When I bought this house, I thought it was at the junction of K City and S City, and the house price was relatively cheap. I have bought many real estate properties, so the house here is a one-piece frame structure, which not only looks good, but also has a thick and firm material.
But I didn’t expect that in a house with a frame structure, each floor is a united entity. As long as one floor vibrates, the other floors will vibrate together like a chain reaction. The sound insulation between them is extremely poor. As long as our own home is quiet, we can hear all kinds of movements upstairs and downstairs very clearly. It is no exaggeration to say that the next door pulls the bedside table, turns off the headlight on the wall, and snores in the middle of the night. We can all hear it very clearly from here.

So whenever a couple quarrels and quarrels, or even just speaks a little loudly, the neighbors up and down, left and right can hear it, and there is no privacy at all.Not to mention that these bastards yelled and tossed so loudly after returning home every night, which made me worry every day, couldn't sleep well, and became a little nervous after a long time.

But the one in my family sleeps very soundly every day. As soon as he hits the bed and lies down for a few minutes, he immediately falls asleep.He seemed to have heard the huge movement downstairs, but he didn’t seem to hear it at all, because I could clearly feel that every time there was a sudden scream downstairs, or knocking on the door, he would tremble with the sound, or stop snoring immediately , but then he turned over, and within two seconds, he began to sleep soundly again, leaving me alone to face the long night.

It’s not that I didn’t seek comfort from him because I was woken up downstairs. As a result of seeking comfort, he was furious and blamed me for disturbing his slumber. Instead of hugging me and giving me some warmth, he was so angry that he told me not to disturb him to sleep. .So after marrying him, I feel that I am lonelier and lonelier than I was before marriage.

Even after the operation, after the recovery period, his illness didn't seem to improve at all.We still don’t have any close physical contact, and he, who is used to living a “self-care” life, has never given me the slightest care and care in the spiritual world, so that I often suffer from insomnia all night, and my spirit is on the verge of collapse. the edge of.

Later, after a lot of twists and turns, he finally found a job in the industrial park. Because my two workplaces were too far away from our house, we rented a cheap garage room in the park as a dormitory. We usually live in the dormitory. Go back to my own home on weekends.My heart has just slowly regained some peace, and I am also looking forward to his body slowly returning to "normal", and I still have love for him in my heart. After two or three years of hard work, I have invested too much for this family and him. With effort, time and money, I really look forward to the dawn after dark.

But under such torment day after day, our married life finally came to an end without looking forward to the dawn. ——

One day when I was working in the unit, I suddenly had a stomachache. I thought it was a general stomach cramp, so I poured a cup of hot water and drank it, hoping to relieve it after a rest.In the end, after two hours of staying up, the pain became more and more painful. I couldn't stand it, so I asked the leader for leave and went back to the dormitory to rest.

A kind colleague drove me back. I thought I would feel better lying on the bed, but my stomach hurt more and more, and I felt like vomiting from time to time. I was afraid I had some unknown disease. I couldn’t bear it, so I got up and ran to the road. I called a car and went to the hospital.

I called him, but he didn't come at the first time, he said he was busy.

At that time, I had just paid the mortgage, and my card had less than [-] yuan left, and I had no cash with me.But the registration window of that hospital had to ask for cash, and they couldn’t pay by scanning the QR code (scanning QR code payment was not popular at the time), so I had to look for ATMs everywhere in the hospital while supporting my stomach.

As I was walking, I was in tears from the pain. It was close to 30:[-] p.m., and I went to the emergency room of the internal medicine department. I finally found an ATM and got the money. , there are two NO.[-] people waiting.

I squatted at the back of the line, and finally couldn't help sobbing softly because my stomach hurt so much. The elder brother in front of me saw this and quickly shouted at the doctor: Doctor, there is a little sister who is in pain and is almost dying.

The doctor said: Then quickly let her come to see a doctor first.They helped me up from the ground, and just as I was about to say "thank you", my stomach rolled and I couldn't help vomiting. Everyone panicked, and before they handed me the trash can, I had already put the doctor's There was a mess of vomiting in front of the waiting room.

After the doctor calmed down a little, he asked the nurse to put me on the first aid rack and carried me to the emergency room. He checked me and said that it was "acute gastroenteritis" and I needed an IV.

I lay alone on the hospital bed and watched as Xinbao rushed from the factory to the hospital after the two bottles of drip were finished.At that time, my stomach was still hurting badly, so he called the nurse for me, and the nurse said: "She still has two bottles of water, we will see the situation after hanging up, if she continues to suffer from this pain, she must be hospitalized for observation and treatment .”

I looked at him helplessly and said, "My card is about to run out of money. Can you find a way to ask a colleague or friend to borrow a few thousand yuan for emergency?" Said: "How can I have money? I don't have any colleagues and friends to borrow!"

Hearing this decisive and cold answer, I was still on an IV and I was powerless to quarrel with him, and I was powerless to ask him, are you still a man?My heart was broken without a trace, and tears fell silently from the corners of my eyes...

I asked myself: "Cheng Yifei, have you seen it clearly? This is the handsome boy you have loved for three years and spent three years of your youth to accompany him to see a doctor and help him heal. Yes, he is indeed handsome, but Do you really know him? He is like a beautiful vase, which can only be seen as a display.

It’s okay to be indifferent to you on weekdays, but now you are sick and need money urgently, and you and your family are used to worrying about everything at home. Even if you have no money, you and your family will settle it. A handsome boy who can continue Be his "hands-off shopkeeper" with peace of mind, and you can completely ignore your life or death.

Such a man who has no sense of responsibility and responsibility, I don't know why you are so determined to guard him? "

There was no time to be sad. After hanging up the four bottles of water, he ignored the pain that I was still in, and ignored the doctor's words that I would be hospitalized for observation. He helped me up and took me out of the hospital.

He drove me home on an electric scooter and let me "recover" at home.I kept my eyes open all night that night with tears streaming down my face.He slept soundly, and soon began to snore.

When I came out to wake up at night, his mobile phone on the table suddenly turned on, and I saw a strange dating software came into my eyes.A message window popped up, and it was a female avatar wearing a cheongsam replying to him.

I clicked on it and glanced at the chat history. It was full of ambiguous information. He, a married man, even sent "blow kisses" and "love" to strange women on the Internet, and talked "love words".

My heart was as silent as gray ashes. Sure enough, the more "unable" a man is, the more he likes to "chat" on the Internet in order to prove that he is still a man.

Seeing that kind of information, I didn't argue or make a fuss. "There is nothing more sad than death", not the moment I saw the information, but the moment he said in the hospital that he had no friends or colleagues to lend me money to continue seeing the doctor, I felt it was dead.

(End of this chapter)