Natural beauty, inspirational nature

Chapter 27 Blind date "extraordinary" man
I often lament that women in the old society were constrained by the feudal social system and secular ethics. Even if they were oppressed in marriage or encountered domestic violence and derailment and other marital tribulations, they would endure humiliation and humiliation. In order to survive, they had to become Accessories for men.

It is hard to imagine that women at that time had no status in the family or in society. In marriage, men were always looked up to, followed and obeyed unconditionally. They were even allowed to have three wives and four concubines. It is required to marry a chicken and follow the chicken, marry a dog and follow the dog, obey the three obediences and four virtues, and be loyal to only one person in a lifetime.

I am very glad that I was born in a new era of peace, democracy, equality and openness. In the 21st century, China, with the rapid development of science and technology and social productivity, has already bid farewell to the old thinking of feudal society that men are superior to women. Women in the new era can be like men. In the workplace, pointing out the world and being the master of the situation, in the long history of social development, like men, they play a pivotal role in "half the sky".

My mother is always worried that I can’t find a partner. My family introduced me to many divorced men with children. She always brainwashed me: “If you don’t look for such a man, what else can you find? The excellent ones have long been out of turn. You! There are divorced and childless people like you, not to mention that there are too few such people, and the probability of encountering them is too small. Even if they do, have you ever thought about it, what if they also have physical problems?"

"Having children at least means that people are physically normal. Those who are unmarried are even more likely to fall in love with you if they have better conditions. So don't even think about it. Don't think that one is short or that one is fat. You are not living with your face , work well, have the ability to earn money to support the family, be responsible for the family, if people don’t pick you, it’s already pretty good!”

I have no prejudice against divorce, because I am also divorced, but I have always had "resistance" to being a stepmother, because I know that it is not easy to be a stepmother, and I want to establish and maintain a family relationship without blood relationship Well, it's really too difficult.

But I don't think it is completely unacceptable to divorce and have children.It's just that a prerequisite for me to accept it is that I really like the other party, and only when I fall in love with the other party can I love my house forever.

Otherwise, I'm really not sure that I can be a qualified stepmother. You can't say that I am realistic in this regard. After all, the conditions of the two are not equal. One has children and the other has no children. The starting point is different. If it's not because of sincere mutual liking, then it's hard to seek each other because of different ways.

But my mother doesn’t think so. Whenever someone introduces me to a partner, she will be very active. She thinks that every boy is very good, and they are all remarkable. Their appearance, their economic and material conditions are very good, but helpless, people have their own ambitions, radish and green vegetables have their own preferences, I am a person who believes in "love begins with appearance, then respects talent, and suits character" and so on Waiting for girls, it is commonly said that they must first have "eyes".

Every time my mother accompanies me to meet a blind date, she always tells me: It is hard to find a "divorced" partner like this. I really don't know what kind of person you are looking for?Life is all about improvisation, if you choose any more, you won't find it.In the end, you can only find an old man to live.

But as far as I know, in recent years, the divorce rate has been rising every year. It is really difficult to find a high-quality partner, but I don’t think it is really difficult to find a divorced partner.

On major dating websites and dating apps, you can find a few people to look at their profiles, and out of a hundred people, maybe two-thirds of them are divorced and have children.Many men find new marriage partners soon after divorce, but many women would rather choose to be single for a long time after divorce than easily step into the "siege".

Some unmarried men with slightly poorer conditions even express such emotion on the Internet: Nowadays, it is lucky to find a woman to live, regardless of whether it is the first marriage or the second marriage, and the other party does not dislike him.It sounds exaggerated and funny, but it is also part of social reality.

It is undeniable that modern women are much more independent than old women, and they do not need to depend on men less and less in marriage.On the premise that we are single but still able to live a good and wonderful life, our requirements for the other half have also increased, and it is reasonable to no longer be willing to make do with a marriage relationship. After all, high-quality Being single is far more enjoyable than having a low-quality marriage, isn't it?
It’s just that you don’t think that society has progressed, and people’s ideology has also improved, so men really don’t mind whether women have divorced history from the bottom of their hearts. I think that’s probably just a “superficial phenomenon” ".

Speaking of this, I can't help but think of a wonderful blind date experience I encountered when I was working in N City.

The other party is a native of N City, a sales director of a large enterprise and institution, with a monthly salary of [-] to [-], and several properties under his name. Before meeting me, he sent me a handsome photo. Later, he realized that the photo was not his real appearance. It was filmed when he was the thinnest many years ago, and you can probably guess a thing or two about the following plot.

When I saw a strange man who was at least twice as fat as the man in the picture came to me for a blind date, the disappointment that gushed out of my heart was really indescribable.

But the other party was very enthusiastic, his eyes lit up when he saw me, he praised me for being prettier than the photo, invited me to dinner, and even arranged the itinerary for me after the meal : After dinner, let's go to a movie together, and I'll take you home after the movie.

I thought to myself: As a divorced person, we shouldn’t be too demanding, and we should listen to my mother. We can’t just look at the outside and completely ignore the inside. At least give the other person a face, have a meal, and talk a little Look at the style of conversation and give the other party a chance to get to know each other?
With such kindness in mind, I didn't reject it outright. When we went to the restaurant with him, I didn't ask him to order more food. I indicated that the two of us couldn't eat too much, and that's fine.

In the end he ordered three dishes, two meat and one vegetarian, and two drinks.When the food arrived, both of them picked up their chopsticks. He suddenly looked at me seriously and said, "Wait, I have something to ask you before eating, and you can eat after you answer."

I said, "Okay, you can ask."

He gave me a meaningful look and said, "How do you feel about me honestly, can I be your boyfriend? Can we date?"

I looked up at him and observed him closely. His face was full of greasy fat. When he laughed, the fat on his face still shook a little. I met once, and I haven't talked much before. I can't say."

Before I could finish my sentence, he immediately interrupted me and slammed the chopsticks on the table with a "snap": "No, you have to answer my question right now. Is it okay or not?"

I was a little taken aback, and I said, "I can't answer your question right now, I don't know you at all. We've only just met, and we haven't even had a word."

After hearing this, his face became very ugly, and he yelled at me: "Then don't eat, what else is there to eat? You pay me half of the meal right away!"

I immediately realized in my heart that this is an extremely stingy person who is afraid that others will take advantage of him. I sneered and said, "Do you think I can't afford this meal? Or do you think I will blackmail you for nothing?" Meal? You settle the money first, and I will transfer it to you on WeChat in a while."

I was about to use WeChat to transfer half of the money to his mobile phone. As soon as I picked up the mobile phone, and before I started entering the password, the strange man began to show his fierceness, and yelled at me: "I can't eat this meal, what else can I eat?" Yes! You transfer me now, immediately, immediately! I am an unmarried person, and I have everything I want at home. It is a fucking face for you to see you! You are a second-married woman, ugly as a pig, who will give it to you? Your courage? How dare you come out on a blind date?"

While scolding me, he picked up his clothes and hurriedly backed away, disappearing into the restaurant as if fleeing, I quickly replied: "Why don't you eat, Miss Ben paid for it herself. You are a pig, you don't write drafts when you fart Is that right?" I didn't intend to discriminate against people who are overweight. I think that everyone, no matter how tall, short, fat or thin, should be respected at the most basic level, but his manic performance instantly turned him into a A "big pig head" who has no education and goes crazy.

I really didn't expect that the pig was still praising me for being more beautiful than the photo one second, and scolding the street the next second.I couldn't laugh or cry, other diners in the restaurant saw him go crazy, they all turned their heads and stared at us curiously, I just pretended I didn't see it, so I fed my stomach very freely and went home.

Although it is inevitable that I am a little angry inside, I am very glad that I have seen through the essence of a person without any effort.

When I got home and picked up my phone, I suddenly found that the "pig" started bombarding me with text messages after receiving my WeChat payment, and sent dozens of insulting text messages. I clicked on the first two, I found that the words used were unsightly, so I decided not to read them, and clicked block to delete!
I think this is probably the most unmannered and self-restraining "garbage" person I have ever met in my life.

But from his reaction, it is not difficult to see that since the development of social civilization, there are still some male chauvinists who have patriarchal ideas. They look down on divorced women in their hearts, and think that a divorced woman is second-hand.

In their eyes, when a divorced woman meets a man, it doesn’t matter whether the conditions are the same, whether the appearance is compatible, or whether the soul is compatible, as long as he does not dislike you and is willing to associate with you, you have no right to say no. I don't have the right to pick and choose, but if he likes you, you should burn incense and pray to Buddha and set off firecrackers to express your gratitude to him, so he thinks you are "sensible"?
Such an idea sounds absurd, right?The sad thing is, why didn't our parents and seven aunts and eight aunts think so when they arranged a blind date for you?
The overly anxious and anxious mood of the elders when dealing with the marriage of the younger generation often causes them to lose the sense of "analyzing things objectively and treating them rationally", and they put their children on the "too low" value balance to weigh the pros and cons. Then mess up the mandarin ducks, and then do bad things with good intentions.

Whenever they hear that someone of the opposite sex has a crush on you, they want to match you up every minute, get married and have a baby, so that they can have grandchildren as soon as possible.

Speaking of the matter of holding my grandson, in fact, I have always felt in my heart that I owe my mother very much.

After all, I am a rare older single female young woman of the "Monkey King" level among my peers. At the age of 35, I have passed the best childbearing age. It is even more difficult.

Seeing that her mother is about to turn into a 60-year-old grandmother, but she, who has experienced many twists and turns in her marriage, is still unmarried and has no flesh and blood.Whenever I see my mother staring blankly at someone else's grandson, and the granddaughter's eyes are full of envy, my nose will feel a little sore. I feel sorry for my mother who has broken her heart because of my marriage over the years, and her gray hair has become more and more serious. More and more, her skin was originally very good, and it was still smooth, tender and wrinkle-free when she was in her [-]s. In the past two years, the wrinkles on her face have increased sharply, as if she has aged several years all of a sudden.

Ask yourself, my heart is extremely contradictory and uneasy. On the one hand, why don’t I hope that their wishes can be fulfilled as soon as possible, but from my own point of view, I have experienced two marriage disasters, escaped from the tiger’s mouth and entered the wolf’s den. It's easy to get rid of the wolf's den. If the family urges you to marry again, because the age to have children is up, and you just find someone you don't love to spend the rest of your life sloppily, I don't think I will be able to forgive myself in this life.

For my third relationship in the future, I will carefully consider it, and unless I can be sure that we are truly in love with each other and can last for the rest of my life, I would rather choose not to get married.

In the past four years of working in Nanjing, many male colleagues around me have offered me olive branches of love, but I have not accepted any of them.Because most of them are younger than me, 6-10 years younger than me.I was born with a young face and a baby face, but I was actually very popular with young boys.

There were not a few boys who expressly hinted that they wanted to approach me, but at that time, I was not quite able to accept the relationship between siblings.One is that I think the age gap is too large, and the other is the key factor. In fact, deep down, it is because I feel that I have never found someone who can really make me feel excited.

10 years ago, because I had no love experience and knew little about the dark side of human nature, I gave myself and my youth to the wrong person, but no matter how unbearable the fate bestowed on me, I am grateful to the former self .

I really don't want to blame her.

How can I bear to blame that young and immature little girl who can simply love at all costs, she is so kind and pure, she deserves the best love in the world, but it is a pity that she met someone who is not a good person, so she endured the unbearable pain in this world pain.

Fortunately, she came back to life. No one can completely break away from the past and live in the present and the future.Regardless of whether the person in the past was mature or not, no matter whether he was let down or not, she loved her seriously, and she never let anyone down.

She once listened to the song "Hello Tomorrow" by Milk Coffee alone in the dark night, with tears streaming down her face.She once looked up at the starry sky and asked why God let her experience so many disasters? ——

Waiting in the center of Destiny Square

that blurred shoulder
The more you run, the smaller you get
When I grow up, I can only run

I'm so afraid of falling in the dark

Tomorrow hello smile with tears

The more beautiful the more afraid to get

cry every time
laughing and running
Lost while looking for
How small is your voice tomorrow

but remind me
what is bravery

when i go in the opposite direction

Find courage in the corner of the stairs

shaking shoulders and crying
ask yourself where
……

Later, she finally understood, "The road is blue, and the jade is successful." It turns out that adversity and ups and downs are also "gifts" from God, because everything that can't kill her will make her stronger.

(End of this chapter)