Natural beauty, inspirational nature

Chapter 48 Cold Violence

Some people meet the lightning and flint for the first time, and when they meet again, they will be dull;

I think our later stories have fully verified that the relationship between me and Xiao Yu'er should belong to the latter.

It is said that since that meeting, the relationship between us has dropped to a freezing point.Since I told him that we start as friends in reality, the chat boxes of my two WeChats have become a daily "check-in" mode where I just send messages unilaterally.

Xiao Yu'er will never read the soft articles I wrote on the official account carefully like when we first met in the online world, and praise me in surprise: Feifei's writing is really good;
Xiao Yu'er will never sigh in front of me from the bottom of her heart: girl, you are really too simple, it is rare to see a kind girl like you in this world now;

Xiao Yu'er will no longer send me a lot of messages excitedly after drinking, nagging about this and that, and also talking about his travel to Japan;
Xiao Yuer will never take pictures and share them with me when his aunt cooks a table of delicious meals for him;

Xiao Yu'er will never take a picture of the red clouds in the sky for me to see while running, and tell me funny: Feifei, I feel that monsters are coming.

——The little things we used to get along with are like PPT slides, slowly unfolding in front of me page by page.

I remembered that he would smile calmly on the surface, but secretly he was surprised and felt sorry for the deception I had received in my past marriage and love life, and told me in his way that I should not trust others too much.

He will specially send me screenshots of his chat records with other people, and seriously demonstrate in front of me how he struggles with "old foxes" who are about the same age as his father in the business field when he is in charge of procurement. of.

To be honest, I really admire his "calmness" and introversion, and his excellent use of psychological tactics in the business field.

But what he doesn't know is that I have a similar career experience as him.Because although my job is graphic design, I also have to be responsible for purchasing advertising materials, so the boss will also entrust me with the life and death power of choosing supply partners.

I think I'm on the same level as him in terms of how I approach work, and I've also used the psychological tactics he uses.

But when I face marriage and love, I am not so rational and sober. When I face the person I love, I never use routines, and I don’t have the slightest tricks. Often ends in disastrous failure.

Now that I think about it, at that time he was demonstrating to me the psychological tactics at work, but in fact he was trying to tell me that facing love and marriage also required some scheming and means, so that we could know ourselves and the enemy, so as not to be deceived.

Although I have already understood this truth after my divorce, I am still very happy that my male god also shared his experience with me so unreservedly.

We used to open our hearts to each other so innocently.Now there is no interaction.

Also because of Xiaoyu, I got to know many well-known brands at home and abroad, be it clothing or cars.Growing up in an ordinary family, I don't envy his life and consumption style, but his appearance has indeed enriched and expanded my design vision in a sense.

I have always felt that whatever level of material income I have, I can buy goods of whatever level of consumption. I never aim high and envy other people's rich life.

But I will not deny the beauty and uniqueness of high-end brands because of this. I look at them with a learning attitude.I am more interested in the stories behind the brands and how they are shaped step by step through creative design concepts and design techniques.

I didn't know that I was already used to having his company in my daily life, and I was used to sharing the ups and downs of my life with him, and I didn't even know that I had fallen in love with his soul long ago.

Thinking of every little thing I got along with Xiao Yuer, I miss his kindness to me more and more, and I miss those soul conversations and heart-to-heart moments between us.

It's a pity that the initial contact between people is like a flat and clean white paper. Once the white paper is crumpled and punctured, it will be difficult to flatten and restore it to its original appearance.

I began to be very nervous that he would really fade out of my world because of this. During the month when he disappeared, I really missed him every day.

But I'm not stupid. At that time, I had a vague feeling that he was saying goodbye to me in this silent way. But facing his "cold violence" and non-communication, I had no choice but to feel a little exhausted. .

As a girl, I also have my own self-esteem and pride. I let go of my self-esteem time and time again, and actively tried to communicate. I sent one message after another, whether it was caring greetings or confession invitations, everything was like a meat bun beating a dog.

Gradually, my heart became cold. This method of neither clearly replying nor deleting and blocking is my taboo in communication. In my opinion, it is a very disrespectful way of dealing with other people's feelings.

After all, talking about friends is not doing business, and scheming and routines can only be done occasionally, so far.

In the face of other people's sincere confession, if you don't like it or accept it, you should clearly reject it, so as not to cause misunderstandings and make the other party wait for nothing.

He never responded to my message. After a long time, I also felt that my message was meaningless to him, so I completely gave up communicating.

We just lay silently in each other's circle of friends. His profile picture, like a corpse, lay in my friends list, motionless. You knew he was still alive, but you were just "playing dead". You are helpless.

Until one day, the single-column bridge deck in City W suddenly collapsed, because heavy trucks on the bridge were overloaded, and there was only a single column under the bridge, which could not support the huge load of the bridge deck. They were all crushed, and several innocent lives were lost. Surveillance captured this thrilling 1 minute.
Just as some pedestrians were about to pass under the bridge, the bridge body suddenly collapsed, and their front legs quickly retracted. They were really frightened and shivered for a long time.At that time, the circle of friends on WeChat was also blown up. Everyone was frantically reposting this video, asking each other if there were any friends who passed by here on a long-distance business trip, fearing that their relatives and friends would die unfortunately.

I thought of him immediately, and I suddenly realized that in this world, apart from my parents and relatives, the last person I want to lose at this moment is him.

Although I don't think he would be so unlucky, I couldn't help but asked in WeChat with concern: The bridge slab in W City collapsed, and many people died.hope you are well
Unexpectedly, he replied in seconds this time, and he replied with an "OK" emoji, indicating that he was still alive.

I remember very clearly that that day was the National Day of 2019. When I saw his message, there was no text, but an emoji reply, and my tears flowed down instantly.

My mother came into my room suddenly, saw me crying, and asked me: "Okay, what's going on with you?"Why are you crying?
I wiped my tears and said I was fine, but I felt the overwhelming sadness in my heart.

When people get along with each other, if they have conflicts or different ideas, they can speak out openly and honestly. Even arguing and arguing are sometimes a way of caring about each other. The most taboo is "violence" towards each other.And when I say violence, I don't just mean brutal force.

Cold violence is also a kind of violence. It seems harmless and will not hurt people, but for those who care about you and love you, it is a wrong way to resolve conflicts and disputes that is more chilling than violence. .

I think I fell in love with him back then, and that was the first time I shed tears for him.

It's a pity that I fell in love with him, but he has classified me as an ordinary friend, the kind who cares about things, and doesn't chat or respond to things.

Everyone says that when the opposite sex gets along, if the other party suddenly stays indifferent for a long time and does not respond, one situation is that the other party really has no feelings for you, so he does not want to reply, and the other case is the vast majority of cases, because he already has a new relationship. The ambiguous object transfers the enthusiasm for you to other objects.

This statement is true, I didn't believe it before, but in the later getting along, I found that this rule is really one of the golden rules of love.

After Yuelao hooked me up with Xiaoyu online, he quickly untied us.No, to be precise, I unilaterally loosened the tie for Xiaoyu, but tied my red thread tighter and tighter.

He ignored me for two whole months. In fact, he had already planned to gradually disappear from my life, but as time went by, I slowly found that I was already in love with him.

This is the beginning of the tragedy of our love story.

Two or three months of communication on the Internet, I confide in him, and I have long regarded him as my soul confidant. Even when we met for the first time, his appearance failed to stir up ripples in my heart, because I was too tired, I even looked a little like It's like a fragment of my memory when I was drunk. For a few days after we met, I couldn't remember his face.But that doesn't mean I really don't like him deep down.

In the first two days after we met, I was not sure how I felt about him for a few moments. After all, the two of them only met on the Internet. They only met once in real life, and they never really got along. Not very familiar with it, I may be subconsciously suppressing and demanding myself strongly, and I can't just rely on a one-sided relationship, purely relying on external things to conclude that he is the one I am looking for in this life.

And I guess his inner mental state at that time must be: I am tall and handsome, so good, I need financial strength, I need financial strength, I need family background, I need family background, how many girls are chasing me to curry favor with me, you are better, give it to me after meeting Send so many opinions and ideas, how do you ask me to reply?I can't go back!He also said that he didn't have much impression of my appearance, and that he still wanted to be friends?Friends, it's ridiculous, why is I so bad? Since I didn't call at the first glance, why do I still like a ghost?
So I don't find it surprising that he insists on not replying to the message.It’s not that it’s really difficult for people to reply to the opinions and ideas I posted, and that’s not the case, as long as he replies with “Well, I know. I understand what you said.” Or reply: “I Basically agree, or partially agree, and disagree with one or two points." The two of them naturally had to continue chatting.

But he didn't, he avoided the conflicts between us with cold treatment and complete disconnection.

The joy at first meeting between people is really too fragile, and the relationship between us has no realistic basis.

His online nickname is "ACECOOL". Sometimes when I wait for news from him until there is no hope, I will murmur to his avatar: You are really just like your name, super cool, as cold as an iceberg.

A good friendship was ruined by "cold violence".I'm very sad, I can vaguely feel in my heart that he used this silent method to force me to give up this relationship, to force me to leave voluntarily.

There is a piece of advice about love circulating on the Internet - the most decent way for adults to say goodbye: You didn't reply to my last message, and I tacitly didn't send it again, and then from then on, the world will never see you again.

Maybe I can choose to turn around and leave in a cool way, but I really hate this kind of ambiguous, cold and violent way of breaking up without any explanation.This may be a common problem of modern people breaking up, starting to separate casually.Don't say you like it, don't say you don't like it, don't say any reason, you will disappear inexplicably, making people who like you and care about you worry about your disappearance and suffer endlessly.

I think this is an extremely irresponsible and selfish way of dealing with a breakup.

Whether we are just pure friendship, or we are already in a state of more than friendship but not full of lovers, when you clearly know that I am particularly "interested" in you, you don't express your position, just avoid and don't respond This way, it can't solve any problems at all, it will only make me think that you are still struggling and thinking, and it doesn't give a death sentence to our relationship.

In the heart of the person they love, if there is no clear reply, there is still hope. As long as there is a glimmer of hope, they will stick to it and never give up.

So no matter whether you like the other party or not, when you know that the other party has given you sincerity and is still waiting for your clear reply devoutly and earnestly, you should stop blindly avoiding procrastination, but should give a clear answer whether you like it or not at the right time , so as not to waste the other party's time.Let the other party wake up from the dream of wishful thinking in time.

Rejecting this kind of thing is not cruel, on the contrary, it is a kind of kindness. The earlier the rejection, the lower the degree of damage to the other party can be reduced. The longer the timeline is delayed, the deeper the love will only be. .

Unless neither of them really likes each other, cold treatment is the only way to go with the flow. Other situations are not suitable for cold treatment. Cold treatment will only make the situation get out of hand.

However, Xiaoyu still adopted the way of breaking up with me that I least expected to see.

I ignored it for a month or two, and after replying to an emoji with no words, there was another long silence.

For the first time, the 7-day National Day holiday has become so tormenting and long for me.Whenever I think of him, there will be a little bit of pain in my heart.

After the holiday, I returned to Changzhou again, and once again returned to the previous state of "empty heart, no one", and a strong illusion of "broken love" enveloped my heart, and at this time my work was also facing There is a huge change in the workplace.

(End of this chapter)