Natural beauty, inspirational nature

Chapter 52

My career was not going well, and my relationship was not going well, but at this time, my relatives in my hometown wanted to introduce me to someone and asked me to find time to go home and go on a blind date.

I'm already the age of one and two, so I don't have time to think about finding a partner. They sent me a photo of the man. I took a look at it, and it was completely unsuitable for me, so I immediately rejected it.

My mother immediately called and tried to persuade me: "Auntie and the others kindly introduced you to a partner. The previous few jobs were not good, so I can understand if you return them.

This time, he is a civil servant and has no children like you. It is hard to find an opportunity even with a lantern. How many girls are waiting in line to see him.

It's good for you, you just answered me without further ado. Anyway, you come back and meet with him first, and meet in reality, and then decide whether to refuse, okay?Feifei, I beg you, my dear daughter. "

Every time my mother persuaded me to go on a blind date, her tone and attitude would turn from tough to gentle, and finally turned directly into begging.

This routine has been tried and tested again and again, but this time I don't want to obey her easily, because I have already lived in my heart with someone I like, so I refused without hesitation:

"Oh, mom, I'm busy with work here. I don't have time to go home. I've always been very accurate in seeing photos. I didn't like the photos, but I just didn't like them. Don't mess with me. I beg you too. !"

After finishing speaking, I hung up the phone, she was unwilling to call again, so I hung up again.After a few times, my mother gave up.

I was very confused, I felt that compared with my male god, the people introduced to me by those introducers were like a "heaven" and a "human world", really incomparable.

How can someone who has seen the "Eagle" fall in love with the "Sparrow" again?
I am concerned about the eyes, I value the feeling at first glance, and I am a bit picky about the appearance of boys. Since I met Xiao Yuer, it has become even more difficult for me to be interested in other opposite sexes.

I didn't expect that my mother would bring "reinforcements" for herself within an hour after seeing that I would not eat hard and soft.

My aunt who hadn’t been in touch with me for a long time suddenly called me. I felt something was wrong, and I thought it was because I didn’t answer my mother’s call. My mother happened to meet my aunt at that time, so she just asked my aunt to be her “ Lobbyist" coming?

Sure enough, my brother saw that I didn't even answer his phone, so he sent me a message directly, to the effect: Your mother is getting old, you warm her heart, and you are getting old, don't miss such a good opportunity It's hard to come across better ones in the future.

In the eyes of the introducer, and in the eyes of the family, a blind date partner has a good job, a good family background, earns a lot of money, and looks decent. I still have to pay attention to eye relationship, which is a bit too much.

But on the surface, it seems that I care about my appearance. In fact, the so-called radish and green vegetables have their own preferences. There is a very magical phenomenon in love, that is:
Everyone thinks that it is pretty and good-looking, but in the eyes of the person concerned, it may not be beautiful and good-looking, or even unattractive. Everyone thinks it is very ordinary or even a little ugly, but in the eyes of the person concerned, it is particularly pleasing to the eye, and it must be him up.

So things like "eye edge" are really super difficult.As the saying goes, "beauty is in the eye of the beholder", perhaps only the "Yuelao himself", who binds people to the marriage line, can explain the mystery clearly.

Anyway, Xiao Yu'er's appearance just fits my aesthetic point everywhere, which makes my heart germinate.

It's a pity that this guy has ignored me for more than a month since we last met.Let me send some worrying text messages to his WeChat from time to time, and he just didn't reply me a word.

Maybe there is such a kind of person in love: they feel that if they don't say no directly, if they don't express their attitude directly, they are saving face for others, and it is the most decent way of saying goodbye between adults.

He thought that his silence explained everything, he thought that you could understand him without talking, he thought that if time dragged on for a long time, you would naturally be able to relax, think about it, and let go.

Little do they know that for those who fall in love with you, the way of silently avoiding and disappearing will only make them fall into a deeper "wrong love" plot from which they cannot extricate themselves.

After another month of delay, I saw that he still had no reply, so I sent him an "ultimatum":
What's the situation with you? It's been more than two months, you don't say anything, no matter what I send you, you don't reply?You know I care about you very much, I don't like "cold violence", cold violence is just like violence, it will scar people.

I don't know if you still have me in your heart?If you don't have me in your heart, block me.To save me from feeling particularly uncomfortable every time I see you "lying dead" in my friend list, it's not good to let go, and it's not good not to let go.This is something that no one can bear.

I thought he would still insist on "playing dead" as before, but I didn't expect that after seeing me say such "heart-wrenching" words, he began to "cheat the corpse"!

The first sentence of the fraudulent corpse gave me a slap in the face: no.

Simple and simple, with no beginning or end, but I understood that he was replying to my question "Do you have me in your heart?"

I couldn't face this cruel answer. I was so sad that I couldn't get over it for a few hours, and I didn't know what to say next.

Then when I remembered to talk to him again, I found that he had blocked me and deleted me!
The circle of friends turned into a black line, and the message was sent to show that the other party "rejected".

At that moment, I felt as if a bolt of lightning fell from the sky in front of my eyes, and my soul seemed to be hollowed out for a moment, and I wanted to cry but couldn't cry.

In a trance, I smiled bitterly, feeling very conflicted at the time.On the one hand, I can't bear the male god I like to leave my world like this. On the other hand, I feel that he has a cold nature and can easily give up the fate and relationship between us. Such a boy is not worthy of my sincerity.

Obviously he also felt that I had really moved my heart to him, and he was also afraid that I would fall in love with him so out of control.So when he heard me say that if you really don't have me in your heart, you can block me, he blocked my account without much hesitation.

Although I was very sad at the time, but as rational as I am, I feel that long-term pain is worse than short-term pain. This is better for everyone. Since you don’t have me in your heart, I don’t have to keep looking at your profile picture to secretly worry.

So after finding out that he blocked me, I blocked and deleted him decisively as soon as possible.

But I really didn't expect that the blacklisting and deletion that time would become an inexplicable regret that has been lingering in my heart for several years in the future, just like my inexplicable "admiration" for him It's as far and wide as it is.

I believe that I have experienced two serious marriages, I should have seen through the hypocritical love between men and women, and vowed not to give up my sincerity easily and be hurt by love.

I warned myself: such a boy may indeed be the Prince Charming in the eyes of thousands of girls, but he does not belong to me.No matter how handsome the prince is, no matter how powerful he is, if he doesn't like you and treats you badly, what's the point?

If in a love relationship, he is always on top, showing you an iceberg face when he is unhappy, and being cold and violent to you when he is unhappy, I am afraid that life will not be much easier.Such a person may not be a good match for you.

Even two people who are in love again will inevitably encounter bumps and bumps when getting along. If once they have conflicts with each other, he will avoid cold treatment, and he will not be willing to communicate with you openly and honestly, and take the initiative to untie the knot. It is bound to not be able to go on for a long time.

I was thinking that maybe he would not be like this to the girls he really likes and cares about, and he would also have a warm-hearted, considerate, proactive and attentive side, but obviously he is not my prince, and it is not me who he wants to be warm, so naturally he cannot give it to me. Loving care and response.

So taking the initiative to block and delete each other is also a way for me to force myself to stop losses in time and forget quickly.

I went back again and again to the dating website we met to see if there was any update on him, and the website showed that he hadn't logged in to the website since he read my first email.

Sometimes I can't help thinking about it, and I will continue to leave him a message there, but I never see him open it.

Every time I log in to my mailbox, I see new emails from strangers. I don’t even bother to open them, because I have a handsome guy in my heart, and I don’t like him in anyone.

WeChat has a function that allows each other to "do not communicate with each other forever". This function is called blacklisting and deleting.

If it is just blacklisting, you regret it one day and want to contact the other party again, you can also pull him out of the blacklist. As long as the other party does not block you, you can continue to send information to the other party.

If you just delete, you have the other party's account, you can search for the account, you can still find the other party, continue to send and add information to the other party, and have the opportunity to add the other party back.

But once you implement the function of blocking and deleting the other party, you will no longer be able to find any information related to the other party's WeChat account, and his account will completely disappear in your mobile phone.

Most of the feelings generated in the online world are illusory. In my life, there are many people who "come and go, stop and go".There should not be a few numbers that have been blocked or deleted, but these people are not important to me. Every time I block and delete, as long as I hold a decisive attitude, I will never start over again in the future possible.

I thought he was just a "little stone" that I accidentally encountered in the vast sea of ​​Internet. After being blocked and deleted, as time goes by, I can slowly forget him.But I never thought that it was this little stone that stirred up waves in my heart.

I overestimated my rationality, and it didn't take long for my sensibility to completely defeat my proud rationality.I regretted it unprecedentedly and without symptoms.

On the first day and the second day after he and his WeChat account disappeared in my world, I didn't feel too bad, but just thinking about it made me feel empty.

But on the 7th day, I suddenly felt an inexplicable "heartache, heartbreak". The feeling of strong longing was something I had never experienced since I was born, and I couldn't help being shocked inside!
I find it strange to say that I only chatted with him intermittently for two or three months in the online world, and only met him once in the real world.

It cannot be said that there is no relationship between the two people at all (after all, online chat can also chat about feelings), but the friendship between each other can only be regarded as "youda and above lovers are not full".

Even from a practical point of view, the relationship between the two of us is so shallow that it is almost zero, but I just have a feeling of deja vu for him inexplicably.

No, to be precise, it was a magical feeling as if I had known him for a long time, was very familiar with him, and was particularly attached to him.

If you want to ask me what I like about him, I can't tell you the specific reasons. I only know his face, his voice, his temperament, his thoughts, and I like everything about him inside and out. ——As if my body was born with a "gene" engraved with liking him.

In my heart, I once believed that this boy is not only good-looking, but also a very affectionate and righteous person.In other words, I thought at the time that even if we could not become lovers after meeting, we would definitely be able to maintain a friendship of acquaintance and acquaintance.

During our previous chats, he highly recommended to me a Korean artist he admired the most. When he sent me a small GIF animation of his idol, I was still confused.

Because I usually don't pay much attention to the Korean celebrity showbiz, I just think that although this comedian is not good-looking, he is full of temperament, and he seems to have seen it in a Korean drama.

Then he didn't wait for me to ask who the star was, he sent several abnormal "like, fascinated" emojis, and finally he directly sent a sentence: "I love him so badly, I really love him so much".

He didn't know that when I saw this sentence, on the other end of the network, I had already opened my mouth wide in shock.

Puzzled, I typed the next sentence in the dialog box: What are you?You don't like boys, do you?
He sent a speechless and curled lip sign, and quickly clarified to me: "He is my idol, my idol."

"Oh." I simply replied, but I was muttering in my heart. It must mean a lot to him that a male artist can make a same-sex fan, a super handsome guy say such nasty and effeminate words.

He also seemed to see my thoughts. Before I could continue to ask, out of a man's self-esteem, he began to explain seriously: "My sexual orientation is normal, and there is no problem in that regard."

I smiled wryly and said: It’s okay, you don’t have to feel speechless.I'm worried that you won't do that because my ex has a serious physical disease and can't live a normal married life. He is also very handsome.So." I don't know where to start, so I can only briefly mention the situation of my ex and express my concerns.

He told me that he was just his idol, although his idol is not a handsome guy, but he has his own personality, thoughts, interesting soul, kind and strong heart.

I said: Yes, kindness is the most valuable quality of a person.I also admire those who look very ordinary, but work hard enough to make extraordinary achievements in their ordinary positions.

He also said: Not only that, there are many kind people, but those who can truly let go, are willing to completely let go of themselves, serve others, and even disdain to play ugly to please the audience and make the audience laugh are really very rare.

I thought to myself: Who said no?Naturally, there are not only kindness, but there are many good people, but there are few people who can really let go of their ideological burden and are willing to sacrifice their own face and dignity, just to bring happiness and laughter to others.People who can do this are people with a very strong heart.

It was also from that conversation with him that I felt that my male god is actually a very emotional, warm and kind person.

He is very different from me. On the surface, I am polite and gentle, but in fact I have my own principles in dealing with things, and I have a clear sense of boundaries in my heart.

On the surface, he is indifferent and hard, with a posture that strangers should not enter. In fact, once you really get close to his heart, you will find that he is also a very emotional and emotional man.

Compared with a good face and a beautiful appearance, I believe that he values ​​people's inner good qualities as much as I do.

So I have always thought that his soul and mine are incomparably compatible and interlinked in the spiritual world.Although we have different personalities and are complementary types, our three views are essentially the same.

During the period of chatting with him online, I was very distressed when my family forced me to go on a blind date, and I tried to complain to him.

My male god was not in a hurry, and he spoke to my heart with a few simple words, he said:
"Actually, you don't have to care about what other people say. You live your life for yourself. What your parents and family say doesn't count for things like marriage. Only you can decide your own happiness. Just be happy."

A few words, but gave me great comfort to the soul.Because on this question, the answer I gave myself was actually the same as the answer he gave me.

I once asked him, if your parents object to your love choice, will you compromise because of it?

He did not answer my question at the time, but from the answer he gave me this time, it is not difficult to see that his position and attitude towards that question are obviously equally firm, that is, he will be loyal to his inner choice.

This may be the reason why I have been thinking about him in my heart after blocking and deleting each other for a long time.

I have seen a lot of handsome guys, but it is rare to find a man like him who has good looks, double quotients, his own unique thoughts, a rich life, and an interesting soul.

However, no matter how good the memory is, it can only be a memory.It seems that the missed fate can never be found again?
(End of this chapter)