Too Broke For Afterlife

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If I was to write a book about this entire experience, which I definitely will once I'm back on Earth, what should I call it?

Caught amongst idiots? God is a devil? 1000 reasons why seals are superior to humans?

No matter the title, my book is definitely going to be full of ungraspable humor, sarcastic anecdotes and thought experiments that will aim to challenge any reader who is lucky enough to hold a copy in their hands.

I will become the most famous nobody the world has ever seen.

But for now I shall continue my observations.

So far I am really enjoying this more than peaceful world Walter has thought up and created. So foreign yet real it looks like a place on Earth I yet have to discover.

The harsh cliffs break apart into a deep but narrow canyon. The green is so dominant and bright that it almost vibrates in my eyes.

Lofty trees are covered in endless vines, flowers are wildly emerging from the thick foliage.

The canyon is running uphill and with every step we take on the stone bridge, the ground is coming closer and closer and after a little while it's almost on the same level as us.

I notice how everything stands still, as if this place is frozen in time. I think what's missing are animals. There are no birds, no insects, not even a single fly.

Eventually, moss and grass start covering the bridge more and more until the stone is gone completely.

The bridge ceases at the entrance to a small, roundish valley.

Green grass surrounds a lake, the bubbling and foaming waterfall we saw inside the crystal ball now forms the fitting backdrop to this idyllic and exotic stage.

The waterfall itself isn't tall or broad but filled with lots of energy.

A small river carries the excess water out of the lake and through the valley until it disappears somewhere between the rocks to our right.

"Wow."

Though simple and ambiguous, this word seems like the most appropriate comment to me.

Lavishly colored flowers are growing everywhere and I can imagine their sickly sweet scent spreading through the air just so satisfyingly evenly.

I kneel down to touch one of the orange plants. The petals are thick and fleshy, a thin coat of slime gets left behind on my fingers and when I lift my hand up so the sun can reach it, I spot purple pollen.

The others are walking around excited except for Walter who appears way more humble and shy than I would have expected.

I approach my friend, rubbing my fingers together to further explore the unfamiliar texture.

"What inspired you to build this world? Because I must say that it is stunning."

"Thank you." Walter smiles timidly. "At first I just wanted to create a unique place where people could hang out and chill. But the more I became invested, the bigger the project got."

"Then why do you seem so somber?"

A slight breeze swishes through the grass and carries leaves of exotic trees.

Walter follows them with his eyes.

"It is very sad to know that my passion was used by the Mayor to create evil. This world was meant to bring me the peace I had never gotten when I was still alive. But today it is a vicious battleground even though we don't see it. The quiet is deceiving, there is no peace."

I'm taken aback by the words. Never have I experienced my friend this depressed and eloquent before. The situation really must be bothering him.

"Listen, Walter. If you need to talk about-"

"DON'T YOU DARE!"

A loud splash resounds and we turn around to a rather amusing scene.

As it seems, Judy has decided to push Parker into the lake. With his soaked completely soaked, he is sitting in the shallow water.

But he doesn't seem mad. Parker is actually grinning.

I look at Walter. "Am I hallucinating or is this sourdough having fun?"

"You're not hallucinating. Apparently my efforts of coding all this paid off after all."

I watch as Parker splashes with the water, Judy squeals.

They mess around for a while until Parker stops. He looks at the water flowing over his hands.

"What the f*ck. Uh, Walter?"

"Yes?"

We stroll over to them.

"Is this water...sparkling? It look like there's blue glitter inside."

Walter nods. "Yes. Would you like to know why?"

"Sure?" Parker gets up, apparently he finds this place a bit too suspicious now.

"Then go dive through the waterfall."

"Huh?" Parker looks at Walter confused but he just shrugs.

"I'll come with you!"

Judy jumps into the lake and starts wading through the water. Eventually, Parker follows him.

I lean over to my friend. "Let me guess. The typical treasure grove hidden behind a water fall?"

"Almost."

Judy extends her hand to feel the water falling down from above. She is saying something to Parker but they are too far away to understand.

Then they walk right through.

"What is back there?" I hadn't noticed Nox approaching but now she is standing next to us, behind her Isabella.

"Something I built but I doubt it longer functions as such. Let's go."

Walter carefully enters the lake and we watch him before we do the same.

Now I can see the glitter as well. Light blue swirls runs through the water and each movement creates a sudden pulsation. It looks almost as if somebody dumbed 100 bath bombs.

The water is surprisingly warm, the kind of temperature people wish for when they travel to an exotic country and want to swim in the ocean.

The energetic waterfall splatters down from somewhere between the rocks above our heads and bounces off the lake surface to spray into our faces.

I walk under the waterfall and stand there for a few seconds as it showers me intensely.

Wow, this feels so good.

Somebody pulls me arm and I stumble forward.

The ground changes and I almost slip.

"Woah, careful old man." Walter manages to catch me.

Old. Pfft. I'm not even 40 yet.

I look around and my mouth drops open.

I had expected a cave but this place is a real temple.

Everything is made of white marble, a set of stairs leads to a platform where a tree is growing. Pillars are lined up on the sides, carrying the ceiling.

At the wall in front of us, thin artifical waterfalls are flowing down and ending in two small rivers, leading out of the temple to our left and right.

The water in here is glittering intensely and I assume that it mixes with the natural lake to create the subtle starry sky effect.

The others are already standing around the tree so I decide to walk over as well.

I notice how each of my steps light up and leaves behind glowing foreign runes in the polished marble.

"I can't wait to hear the story behind this place."

I spot fountains between the pillars and one door.

"Where does that one lead?"

Walter shrugs. "I have no idea. I didn't build it."

Strange. Very strange.

The tree carries red leaves and the wood is almost silver.

Isabella is touching the bark.

"Six small and round notches. I think we all know what that means."

"I didn't build that either," Walter grumbles.

I ignore his comments and pull out the linen bag so I can hand it over to Isabella.

She takes it a bit reluctantly and then pulls on the cord to open it.

"Before we do this," Nox interrupts her.

"We don't know what's going to happen. Everyone, be extra careful. Okay?"

"Yes."

"Of course."

"Sure."

Everyone agrees and then Nox turns back to Isabella and nods.

The blonde woman proceeds and takes out one of the marbles. She places it inside the notch and magically, it fits.

"Seems to be right," she mumbles.

The other marbles follow and when she places the last one, I hold my breath, waiting for what's going to happen.

A soft breeze starts rustling through the red leaves.

And then we hear a soft voice speaking.

"Strangers. You have arrived to retrieve and destroy three artefacts. But what lies ahead is not worth the cause."

I furrow my eyebrows, Nox shakes her head annoyed.

"Strangers. You will retrieve one artefact at the end of each challenge. Six of you came but only five can fight. Cast a vote for who is being spared. Choose wisely."

The breeze pulls back and the leaves eventually stop moving.

"What was that?" Parker asks. "Is this Pocahontas or something?"

"It doesn't matter, you heard it. We need to vote."

Nox looks at each of us, probably already making her decision.

Isabella seems unsure. "But how could we possibly vote? Who of us deserves more than the others to not endure the promised nightmares and horrors?"

It is a tough question indeed. If I could, I'd of course nominate myself. But the advice to choose wisely shouldn't be taken lightly.

"Vote for me."

We all turn to Nox.

"I am the best choice."