Too Broke For Afterlife

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"You get one call." 

The guard hands me back my mobile phone and I quickly grab it, worried he might change his mind.

The display is blurry and I try to calm down my shaking fingers.

It takes me a few attempts until I manage to open my phone list and scroll down to 'Goddess'.

I dial the number and take a deep breather.

After a few beeps, someone picks up.

"Hey, baby. Did you miss me?"

I try to speak slowly so she can understand each of my words. 

"Isa, you gotta come pick me up."

"Are you drunk?"

I look at the guard. He taps onto his watch, telling me to make it short.

"Please pick me up."

"Why? Isn't Cleo with you?"

"Yes, but she can't help. I did something stupid. Can you please come?"

She chuckles nervously.

"Okay, don't scare me. Where are you right now?"

I press my eyes together, fighting the migraine in my head. 

Another deep breath.

"Jail. I ran over a child."

"You did WHAT?"

"Can you please pick me up? I'm scared."

Isabella doesn't answer. I'm worried she might hang up on me.

The guard is still staring, growing more impatient. 

He taps on his watch again.

"Isa…"

"Send me the address." 

<<<

The day had started slowly. I slept until lunch, made a sandwich and then got ready to meet Clarentine, a girl who I had met at work.

My goal? Make her my new friend. Because so far my social circle was almost non-existent. 

Since starting that hotel job I have lost contact with most of my friends. After all, I was the one who moved away and I guess I wasn't worth putting in any effort. 

And now, thousands of miles away in the megacity that is New York, I feel like a lost puppy. Or like a package that had been ordered but never got picked up.

Clarentine, who begged me to call her Cleo, had welcomed me with open arms and a glass of champagne and taken the liberty to introduce me to everyone else.

Right away she seemed like the ultimate extrovert - fiery, warm, confident and always up for a good time.

When I found out that neither of us will be working on Wednesday, I had taken the chance and asked if she wanted to hang out. 

Of course, she said yes, followed by the words: "Let's get wasted!" 

I didn't think she was being serious and had I known where this was going to lead, I would have backed out again.

Cleo had decided that the best place for us to have fun and get to know each other would be a carnival. 

I hadn't been to a carnival in years and once I saw the booths, rides and decoration, my heart started beating faster. I couldn't hide my excitement.

Cleo's dreadlocks started bouncing as I grabbed her hand and pulled her behind me, ready to have the time of my life.

She started laughing. "Calm your tits, this place isn't going to disappear anytime soon."

The first place we went to was a death trap disguised as a rollercoaster. The name was written on a wooden sign in red, fat letters.

'The Nut Crunching Neuterer'

And honestly, it was very fitting. 

Lucky for the woman sitting right in front of me, we didn't have any snacks yet. Else she would have had to deal with barfed out grilled corn and nacho sauce all over her cute French beret.

Let me tell you: I don't think I've ever been this scared in my life and for a second - just a split second - I regretted being born.

After two rides I just felt sick, like I was about to fall apart so Cleo suggested that I fight these side effects with something to drink. 

Sadly, the clear liquid she brought back from one of the booths was not water.

I took one sip and everything inside me pulled together. "F*ck" was all I could say before Cleo took the plastic cup out of my hands and filled its content into what I assumed was orange juice. Then she handed the drink back to me.

"There you go, an overpriced Screwdriver." She laughed and watched me as I downed that self-made longdrink and honestly, together with the juice it was pretty decent.

The evening continued with more fun activities. Okay, some were less fun, for example riding that mechanical bull. I think I almost broke my wrists trying to hold myself up but in the end I beat Cleo by 2.5 seconds which she used as an excuse to buy more alcoholic drinks. 

At some point I started noticing how one of the security guards kept looking over at us, laughing our asses off, running around like children and I think that he actually started following Cleo and I. Just in case.

By 10pm I was completely drunk and unaware that time had passed this quickly. Most visitors had already left and only a few individuals were still walking around the carnival.

That is when Cleo said: "The bumper cars are free now, let's battle!" 

She grabbed my hand and I stumbled behind her. Most of the cars were empty, only two teenage boys were present and they kept ramming each other while laughing. The man who was supposed to take care of the ride was staring at his phone, probably wishing he was in bed.

I sat down in a yellow car and immediately my jelly legs thanked me for the break. 

"Okay bitch," Cleo yelled from the other side. "First person to hit the other one three times wins and has to pay for an Uber!"

And damn, that was really motivating. 

I pushed the pedal down and my car started racing in her direction but Cleo managed to dodge, laughing behind me. 

"Is that all you've got?"

"Oh, you want more? You can have that!"

I turned around as quickly as I could. Cleo was about 10 meters away from me, showcasing the side of her bumper car.

All I had to do was drive straight forward.

But what I didn't consider was that Cleo could simply drive backwards to avoid being hit.

And I also didn't see how one of the boys had gotten out of his car and was standing behind Cleo, exactly in my line.

The alcohol had slowed down my reaction speed significantly and once I finally saw the boy, I froze.

"JUDY!" That was all I could hear. Then I crashed.

The body of the guy stopped my car and the resistance threw me forward. 

Then everything went black.

Next thing I knew, someone was cursing in pain. 

"Stupid bitch!"

The teenager was sitting on the ground, holding his knee. His friend was standing next to him, overwhelmed with the situation.

Someone grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the bumper car. It was the security guard.

"Good job, girls." A voice filled with sarcasm.

I looked at the boy. "F*ck, are you okay?" But he just glared at me, probably wishing for my death.

And that is how I ended up in the security guard's office, sitting on a wooden chair in the corner.

Scared. 

Alone.

And drunk.

<<<

"Okay, your ride has arrived."

I look up at the guard, standing in the doorway, making space for a very angry looking blonde woman in sweater and jeans.

"You said you're in jail!" Isabella's voice is painfully loud and she storms at me to pull me up. 

"Thank god, you came!" I want to hug her but she pushes me away, staring at me in disbelief.

The guard clears his throat. "Is that your daughter?"

Isa huffs. "No. And I'm very thankful for that. What happened?"

"Isa…" I try to hug her again and this time she lets me. But she doesn't return the gesture.

"Well, she got wasted with a friend and then hit a boy at the bumper cars. He hurt his knee and had to be driven to the hospital."

"Jesus f*cking Christ." 

"She was so drunk that we decided to keep her until a sober adult picked her up. For her own safety. I'm afraid we'll have to ban her from the carnival for the next 6 months."

Isabella's mouth is pulled together to a thin line. She nods. "Of course. I'm extremely sorry for what happened. Usually she isn't this reckless." 

The guard shrugs his shoulders, looking at me with a raised eyebrow.

"Luckily nothing worse happened. You can leave now."

As soon as I hear those words, I start stumbling out of the office and into the cold September night. After a few steps, Isa catches up to me and grabs my shoulder.

"I cannot believe you. I'm so mad right now. You completely embarrassed yourself."

"Isa-" "No, don't talk to me."

She pulls me over to the parking lot. Her grip is strong, almost painful.

"What you did is not acceptable."

"We were just having fun."

"Fun!" She snorts. "You're lucky if the kid's parents don't sue you. You could get charged with battery!" 

Isa pulls open the door of the Uber and pushes me inside.

I fall over but manage to sit up after a few attempts.

Fuck, my head is spinning. I hope I won't throw up now.

Isa gets in on the other side and when she sees that I'm not buckled up yet, she sighs and grabs the safety belt. 

I look down at her, fiddling to make sure I'm strapped up and safe.

So stunning. And sexy.

"I love you."

"Shut up."

Wow, okay. She must be really mad. 

I look at the driver who is staring at me through the mirror. He quickly turns away and starts the engine.

"I'm sorry, Isa. I was just trying to make a friend."

"Oh, a friendship based on alcohol. Aren't you a smart cookie?"

I grab her hand, she pulls away but finally looks at me. 

"Please don't be mad, I'm sorry."

We stare at each other for a few seconds. Then, she sighs.

"I mean, you didn't do it on purpose. Still...you ran over a f*cking child." 

The Uber driver's head shoots up, his eyes are widened.

"Isaaa, I missed you. Can I kiss you?"

"Absolutely not."

I put a hand on her leg.

"I've never seen you without make up before but you look so beautiful. I want to kiss your face."

"Judy. You are drunk."

"So? We always have the most fun when we're drunk."

I lean closer but she softly shoves me away.

"You need to go to bed and sleep this off."

"You mean the bed we share together? Where we could do so many more things than sleeping?"

I don't know if it's the bad light in here or if Isabella is embarrassed but I think her face is turning red.

"Judy…" "You're so beautiful." 

I kiss her cheek.

"And I'm still mad at you. So keep your hands away from me."

"I've heard sex is a great way to resolve anger. You can be aggressive and power yourself out while having an orgasm. Or five. I'll give you ten if you want to. Because I'm really horny right now."

Isabella is staring straight ahead. "I'm just going to ignore you."

Is that a challenge? Sounds like one.

I lean even closer and wrap my arms around her waist. 

"We could have sex in the car. I've never had car sex. You?"

Isa takes a deep breath and closes her eyes. 

"Judy. We are not alone. There is someone in the driver's seat, if you haven't noticed yet. It's his car. We can't have sex in someone else's car. So, please shut up."

I roll my eyes and lean forward to the driver.

"Hey dude, would you mind if we had sex in your car?"

"JUDY!" Isa pulls on my arm.

The guy grins. "Not at all."

I casually lean back again and look over to my girlfriend. 

"He's okay with it. So?"

Her teeth are clenched. "If you ask one more time, I'm never having sex with you again. Ever."

I sigh.

"Fine.. But you're a killjoy."